I'm Tired...

Dear TATHMFF-
I'm tired. I had a quiet weekend. Dinner out, hanging around the house, chatting with the neighbors. That's it. I'm still suffering malaise. We've been waiting (sorta) patiently for 22.5 months. I'm toast. I know you want us to be patient. I know you want us to push ourselves to make us good parents for the child you will entrust to us. If you knew me, if you knew how much I have proven already. Seriously. I was whining in February of 06, saying I couldn't wait anymore...If someone had told me I would have to wait 2 years at the beginning of this, I would have told them I couldn't.

I've watched so many babies be born and start to grow up. I've seen family fade and die. I've seen life come and go at so many levels. I've felt so many emotions. I've made so many life-long friends thru this proces too - sisters and family from the friends who have also chosen this path in life.

I don't think you planned for this wait to turn into this. But, knowing that capitalism feeds our agencies, you should have known they wouldn't have policed themselves to submit the candidates that apparently you said you preferred. But in the end, we've waited 300-400% longer than we were first told. Longer than secondly told...and thirdly told. I think the last time our agency said no later than April 07.

Please, we're only 14 days away. Please, recognize that we've toiled and learned and danced with anxiety, and tossed and turned in our sleep more times than I care to admit.

I'm tired.

I'm ready. Let me show you.