I have been given a test/ultimatum/directive by "The Girls"...at Girls Night last night. My own Master of My Domain kinda thing...they want me to stay off the web sites pertaining to the adoption, specifically RQ, for 1 week.
And, holy crap, the rumors have just started to fly. They wanted me to stay off till girls night next month, but no way.
They told me it's for the best, it'll happen when it happens, I'm just torturing myself (I agree with points #2 and #3). They told me that when "my child" is ready, then we'll get the call. Personally, I don't believe in that. I would like to, but I don't.
I told them I couldn't go without the constant feed of info. That I need to feel like I'm in control. They told me that this is then a lesson I need to learn before becoming a mother.
They told me if I feel like I'm collapsing under the weight of it, come out and sit in my driveway with a glass of wine, and they'll come over and help me with the withdrawl symptoms.
Do I do this? Do I try? I don't think I can do it - not when I'm on the phone with a customer blathering away, or I've got the stress going at work, and I just want to see if something is up for 5 minutes. I'm tempted - I like to see if I can do things I can't. But I can't see myself making it, and I don't like to fail.
Do I step up for the challenge, or not?
2 comments:
Oh, HELL, no! Isn't your LID 12/5? Then I think you're next. It's not 2 weeks before your referral may come that you avoid RQ. Not after waiting for 2 years. That's just crazy. Giving up control makes you a good mom? Mom's control the household. Participating in RQ's community is something you do, and you're an important member of that community. Why can't they respect that? Talk about control. Sheesh! Are any of them even APs?
No, mid month Judi...I've got at least one more month, unless a miracle happens!
No, none of them are AP's, but they aren't being malicious - they know me well enough to know that I can be obsessive, especially when I have no control!
You are right! I'm going to be THE in-control mom! (All you moms out there are laughing at me, right?)
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