Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The 70's Are Speaking to Me...

Quote:
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go...


We're playing a bit early this week folks...if anyone is interested.

You'll know why when you name the song...

See ya soon...then I'll get on that boy vs girl rant I've got bubbling up inside of me.

Oh, and last week - Tommy TwoTone - 867-5309 of course!

Monday, August 27, 2007

The Different Family

Here's the question: Did any of us really think that we were really going to be looked at as different because our babes come from a far away land (or a nearby land), instead of down the mommy chute (well, my mommy chute, at least)? I clarify this question with the idea that I am not talking about race...yes, we'll be obvious once H is home. I'm speaking more fundamentally of course...H isn't here, and we still already different, not the same, don't count as much in many circles.

Girls Night was Friday night. Once a month, a group of 5-8 of us in the neighborhood get together, have a few martinins or glasses of wine, bullshit, and play stupid card games...oh, and eat our asses off. Something to absorb the alcohol, you know... :)

I think I've spoken of the 2 M's. M1 has two kids, and if you aren't a mommy, you don't count. M2 had ivf after complaining for years about not being able to have kids, but not doing anything about it. She didn't want to adopt because 1. She doesn't want to go on a plane for a day. 2. I secretly think that her hubby didn't want someone else's kid. Which is fine. Don't do it if you can't handle it. I don't understand it, but I am sooooo glad you accepted your limitations as a family.

Weeeeeellllll...M2 after all the years of not wanting to deal with it, had ivf and it was successful. She has twins. So she got that wish too. Turns out, a boy and a girl...her husband "had" to have a boy. So many discussions on gender there - but that can be for later...when I haven't posted in a few days, remind me of this, and you'll get me on my soapbox in no time.

The whole night M1 was all like "OK, you have to get this diaper bag, and this nipple, and this kind of diaper, and this kind of creme." Mind you M2 is totally overwhelmed, and has no idea what to do.

Do you think once M1 said anything to me to? No. N, another neighbor at some point leaned over to me, and said "I'm guessing October may be your month?" That was it all night. And there were some eyerolls at M1's over the top interest, especially as she has not had too much interest in M2 until the pregnancy. Mind you also, M2 didn't count until she became a mommy-trainee in M1's eyes. No kid means you aren't a real family.

But it dawned on me: There are now "real babies" coming. My friends love me, they are happy for me, but they are weary with the wait too, I'm sure. I vascilate between bringing H up, cause it keeps her spirit alive, and not mentioning her, just cause it is easier in my heart and spirit in some ways. But H is no...well, I can't "letter" them yet, as they can't agree on names...I guess "B&G" for boy and girl. She just can't compare somehow.

Now there is a pregnancy in the 'hood. There is excitement and anticipation. They can see her belly grow and listen to tales of sleepless nights. I have sleepless nights too, sometimes a lot of them, but I think it's assumed that those are less painful. Moreso, I just don't think they think I have nights like that too. It seems that many peole think this is like waiting for our new sofa to be delivered - it'll be awesome when it comes. There's no squished kidney or feet jabbing into my small intestine. But there is a hole in my heart, and sometimes I want to curl in a fetal position because of the pain, ironically enough. I think it's just that we will always be different now. Regardless of if H is Chinese, Vietnamese, Russian or Midwestern. We just aren't a "normal" family, and will never be, as I think most people really just look at us and think we are admirable for taking someone else's kid. Since the announcement of B&G, H has been forgotten. H is already "the adopted kid."

Maybe there will be excitement when she shows up. But it'll probably be around the birth of B&G, so I don't think most people will notice. Not when there are itty bitty brand new homegrown newborn toes and newborn smell to be visited.

Will H vomit on me when she is sick? Will she someday cry for me when I leave her with Grandpa to go out for our anniversary? Will I get a call when she mouths off to the teacher? Will I be the one that makes a goofy, lopsided cake for her birthday? Then how is she any different than B&G?

I just want H to count. I don't want her to be "the adopted kid." I don't want her to be overshadowed by the miracle of ivf twins. She's going to be a miracle also, after 22-24 months of waiting...I don't want her to be the charity case. She's just my daughter. And I don't want people to be less excited about her.

Buh-Bye, Alberto

Adios. Ta-ta, Auf Weidersehen. Zaijian. Later.

Definetly hoping that you are leaving to go be put up in one of those nice long-term care facilities - Lord knows you shouldn't be out driving yourself around to the Safeway or anything, what with that horrible memory loss of yours...you'd likely end up either 2 states away, lost, or driving thru the window of the local pancake joint.

What can we pay you to take Dick with you?

The Mothership

Oh my oh my oh my....

What a weekend it was. I won't even go into the whole....oh, yes, first, let's start with "The Mom" on Saturday.

"The Mom" came down on Saturday to have a full day fiesta of fun for my birthday. Bleck. I love my mom. I love her to pieces. Just the last couple (5-7) years, I can't stand her for more than 5.7 minutes. Like Saturday. We really didn't have to do an all day thing. I preferred not to. To sound crass, I just didn't have the time. I've been working long hours, and we have a ton of stuff to get done...I'll explain that reason later in the week. But no. We had to do this, and we had to do it BIG.

OK, so I got P out of it - he stayed home and finished painting the bedroom, and only went with us to dinner. So he was free (run free hubby, run free...well, no - actually, paint your ass off 12 feet up with no one here to hear you thud to the ground...which he didn't, thankfully). So, as everything in this town is mush from the rain, I gave up my notion of going putt-putting (most things I do these days get a disapproving eye from the Uber-ChristianRight Mothership), so mini-golf is usually safe, and I do like a mean round of it.

So, the only other thing to do: shop. So, I made her do some errands with me, and then we made a couple stops at the clothing stores....oh lord, oh lord, oh lord...first off, she's mad that I have to stop...at a jewelery store (God Forbid), to pick up my bracelet that I had fixed, and stop at the atm at the bank. The travesty! Then, well, we won't even go into the pet food store stop, where she spent plenty of time looking for a new fluffy.

Then we start clothes shopping. A few storefronts down from the store I am at is Gymboree, one of my most favoritist shops of all time for Munchkin sized kiddos. But we did not have time. So I did not even breathe the first syllable of that word/name the whole time we are there. Then, BAM, out of the blue..."Of course, you are going to make me go to that overpriced kids store, aren't you?!?!" Uhhhh...no. So we go into "overpriced mommy store" (J.Jill for those who want to know how crazy my mom is - for the Sale Racks cause I want some summer clothes)...she follows me around the store picking at how much things cost etc etc etc, and then goes into "I'm shocked you aren't making me go to that Gym store - I guess you are starting to realize that this adoption is not a sure thing." Groan. Here it all starts pouring out...

A short list of the phrases I heard:
Well, if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't.

See I told you you shouldn't have bought anything for H.

I'm not going to talk to your Aunt about a shower (Aunt offered to do one) date, cause it's pointless till we even know if you are going to get a baby.

When I said "next year we'll have to go for pizza, cause we can't take H to a uber-nice place for dinner" - "We'll see"

Oh, and my all time favorite: "You know, once you admit that you know who is really in charge of this adoption, and start praying to him, then maybe he'll forgive you for not being a good Child of God and then he'll let you have H."

Sorry Mom. I don't buy into religions that need to blackmail me to pray for them. I don't need to believe in your certain sect of uber-Christianity to believe in a God. You can keep your ticket to your heaven, cause I don't want to be upgraded.

Friday, August 24, 2007

The 80's Are Speaking to Me - Part 4

Here's this week's quote - name the band, album and song:

"You don't know me but you make me so happy"


As to last week:

The first one was U2, Achtung Baby, "Until The End of The World", technically '91, I think, but I think music ages go a bit over the "0" of the next decade starting...

The 2nd one, as Mutha said, was indeed Erasure, off of The Innocents album, "A Little Respect"


Sorry, I haven't been around much this week. It's been busy. The lack of rumors etc is killing me more than you can know...oh, and the whole stinkin' region has been inundated with approximately 1,284,756,123,542,264 gallons of water the last two weeks. We've been lucky so far, the basement is dry, and as far as I know, both cars are still functioning, though P seems to have gone thru a bit more water than he should have yesterday (no comment)...but we do have friends and coworkers who have swimming pools where basements and laundry rooms have been and have no power...oh, and I got another year older.

I had started a post about how last year we had discussed changing to Vietnam during this month, and P told me no way we'd go thru another b-day of mine without me having a little one squeaking out "happy birfday mama" in a little voice...we thought, no way possible. Har. Now I even wonder if we'll have her here for P's bday in mid-winter. It was a harsh reality date. And then I realized the post was all just sputtering and venom about this whole thing, so I canned it.

Girls Night in the neighborhood tonight. One of my favorite "open mouth, insert foot about adoption" people will be there. That should be enough fodder for a few posts.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Evil China Rant

I was lazy yesterday. I read just about all of our big city paper, watched various tv - news and "other" (categorized as bad, but entertaining) etc...and I just have to address the "Bad, Bad China" thing that's going on, especially since they toy recall.

Yes, it's bad that China is shipping toys that have lead in them. It should not be happening, of course. But, c'mon folks, is China doing this to torture small American children? No. Is this a conspiracy for China to push itself ahead in the world? No. The simple (and sad) fact is that China has many many environmental contaminents, and consumer safety issues. Period. Domestic and export goods. We've all seen the stories about lead being in so much stuff in China. We see stories about one food plant manager putting rat poison in another food plant's goods. They talk about pesticides and chemicals of all kinds being in food. The substance that killed so many of our pups and cats in this country is in a lot of stuff it shouldn't be in over there. And it is wrong in each and every instance. The air pollution that is in so many of the major cities in China...It's not safe for humans and all animals - not just American humans and pets!

It's really easy for our lazy media and simplistic minds to blame it on China. And I am not an apologist AP for China. I do not believe that everything that China does has a rosy scent and a gilded edge to it. There's a lot of bad stuff about China. And there is a lot of good stuff too. Just like every country. Consumer safety is China is not one of those good things.

The ones that are not getting the evil eye that should be are our companys here. Or wherever they are - doesn't matter...the ones that went to China, and figured out that they could cut their costs by 26, 38, 45% over where they used to manufacture this stuff! Did no one at the Big Importing Company think, hummmm....how can they make this liscensed rubberized toy character so much stinking cheaper? How can they do this? What is the quality of this toy? I would like to hope so, and it was an "honest mistake of oversight" but my guess is that the answer was moreso at the bottom of the spreadsheet. It's not high technology that is being made cheaper with progress over time - it's a hunk of rubber that has been painted. The fact that you have been able to cut costs that much should tell you something, shouldn't it??? And shouldn't you be testing the products that are sold to you, to make sure they are up to the level that you deem appropriate?

I'm irritated at how many other ways it is fun to bash China, and other countries too (c'mon folks, "freedom fries"- that from our best and brightest in Congress?), but in reality there is usually more than one person/company/entity/causal chain of events at fault. To change the toy/pet food/toothpaste/topic of the day issue, you have to not only "fix" the SOP in the factories in China of stuff being made, but you probably have to start here at home, "fixing" the SOP of the companies that put their bottom line ahead of our safety.

Taking my apple crate and going home now...

Friday, August 17, 2007

The 80's Are Speaking to Me - Part 3

Here we go, a double helping...

These are soft-balls folks...I'll try harder next week:

Name the song, band and album:

Quote 1:
You miss too much these days if you stop to think...

Quote 2:
And if I should falter
Would you open your arms out to me

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Gray Day

It's a gray day here, in my satellite office location of Happy Workland.

Very gray.

I was looking out the office window, staring at the gray. Thinking of all the things I have to do in the next few days, and then I just stopped thinking for awhile...and looked...

I'm facing West. I'm facing, presumably, towards where H is right now. 1000s of miles away. My own personal reverse Mecca. Is it gray where she is too?

I don't often think on her, in the terms of "what is she doing, is she in a crib, is she eating..." etc. I don't know why, I just don't. I'm more of a goal-oriented Type A driven person. I focus on paperwork, and researching daycare and travel arrangements and getting her room ready and getting wills in order so she's taken care of etc etc etc. Deciding, even now, what she will need me to bring for her when we go, that's how I think and cope.

Today, I wonder if it's gray where she is too...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Buh-Bye, Karl

We hardly knew you...oh wait, that's only because you won't answer any of the Congressional subpeonas.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Now, can you please take Alberto with you too?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

20 Months

Unlike my normal modus operandi, this is going to be brief.

Today, we've been waiting 20 months for spunky little H.

Doesn't that say it all?

Hummmm...my agency still hasn't called me to tell me that the wait has been extended, so we must be on #2 by now, huh? They told us 6-8 months, 9-10 at most...that's a rant for another day.

Every day more info comes out, more rumors, more discussions people are having with their SWs and agencies, and every day I question more and more: Will we ever get H? Should we have 'jumped ship" this time last year (I couldn't have, I don't think, I love H too much, and our stinky agency won't allow concurrent)? We discussed this leading up to my birthday last year, and I told P I wanted it to be the last year I wasn't a mommy on my bday. We both thought it laughable that there could be another one. Hrrmmmppphhhh. Well, I don't hold out too much hope for the next week or so to change everything...

And we are still looking at, what, a 4 month window for referral???

What did I do to bring this kind of karma down on me? Moreso, what did H do to have karma bite her in the Pamper Cruiser to not only be abandoned, but have to wait longer than necessary to get a family? Assuming that she's alive and waiting, of course...I'm not innocent, some religion's God may be punishing me somewhere, but what about H?

OK, not as brief as I intended, but I guess H deserves us to think of her for a few minutes today...

Monday, August 13, 2007

Why I Absolutely, Positively LOVE Happy Workland

OK, all I can say is that I love, love, love working at Happy Workland. (Insert eyeroll) I love it so much, I feel a need to list the ways I love it to y'all in Blogworld...

1. One of our customers is so fun. They give us a surprise party at least 2-3 times a week! Surprise! We need x out by tomorrow, 8 am. And they always have planned these surprises at least a month in advance. It's so kind of them. It's Christmas every day.

2. We were chosen to head a new project because we are the best of x. It merges all x's efforts together. I get to manage that project internally. This is like when you go to by a car and it says "new paint job and interior." Run. The reason we are the best is because the others are so...not.

3. I work in a small office. Mostly females. What happens when you put multiple females in a close environment together, each in charge of their own job? We're bitchy on a regular basis. I'm bitchy sometimes too. Don't come near my Palace Of The 5 Foot Walls.

4. The Palace of 5 Foot Walls. I got lucky. I got a doublewide (insert trailer joke here). Thing is, the doublewides are at the end of the cube sections. I have 1/2 side walls, width-wise. Not full side walls. Ergo, aformentioned like-minded bitchy ones come thru my turf to get to other turf. If I'm near my moat on each side, I'm likely to get side-swipped as they clip the corner as they come into my territory. Even if none of us are being bitchy at the time. It's just the traffic pattern.

5. My Palace of 5 Foot Walls was bequeathed to me by the King. The King is my father. I spend more time with him now than when I was growing up. I love the King. My allegiance is to the King. Do I sometimes want to send the king off to a far off land into exhile? Yes. Because we see eye to eye as much as every other father/daughter duo do, probably moreso. And the best of all is when we are butting heads, and when we do, we do, and under normal King/serf relationship, you get to leave. And if you are lucky, it's the weekend, or better yet, a long holiday. No, in my world, you butt heads, but then, you get to sit across from him at the table that weekend/holiday. So instead of wanting to stuff the excel spreadsheet down his throat, you get to want to stuff the turkey leg/candycane/burger/birthday cake down his throat, so he'll get your point.

And a bonus one:
6. The King says on a regular basis: "Oh loyal serf, you do not plan to quit when your little serflet comes, do you?" And I answer back "Oh no kind King, I love the Kingdom. But the serflet will need lots of my time in the beginning. I cannot be here full time." The King agrees with this. He agrees to flexible time. He is willing to accomodate the serf. The serf has waited very long for the serflet. Every so often, she goes to the King, and kindly reminds the King, that coming soon, she will not be able to serve him for many months. And then she will return. Has he thought of a suitable replacement to serve him in her abscence? He assures her he has, but uses his royal perogative to not do a damn thing about it, nor even share with the serf his plans, so that she may even on the side groom her replacement(s). The King thinks, methinks, that the serf will be checking in from the far off land.

How did this go all medieval? I think I need to go home...

Friday, August 10, 2007

If I Could Talk To The Advertisers...

An open letter to The Chicago Center for Colorectal Health:

Thank you. I appreciate you. I am thankful that you are so worried about my potential to have hemorrhoids. But I don't have hemorrhoids. Sorry. But, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will take you up on your generous offer to assist them for the low low price that you offer. And they will be thankful.

I've absorbed your offer. I know your offer in the deepest corners of my soul now. So can you please shut the hell up and let me get back to my 80's cheez music??? And my not-cheez 80's music too? Must you come onto my radio station and discuss my potential butt issues an average of 6 times an hour???

And for God's sake, please, please don't follow it up with the commercial for the tampon that will move with me.

Thank you and have a good and prosperous year.

The 80's Are Speaking To Me...Week 2b.

OK, y'all are too good. Too fast for me.

I'm digging deeper here...I need to find something that takes a few guesses...

Name this tune and the band:

"With cake in vulgar surplus
We can have it and eat it too..."

Bonus points...what's the line or 2 before it?

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The 80's Are Speaking To Me...Week 2

OK, here's this week's lyric excerpt...

Can you name the song, the band...and in the case of a tie-breaker, the album???

"It's not the future that I can see ...
It's just my fantasy..."

Mutha and Dave...the race is on...

P is almost tempted to get a user name just to play!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Do I Have The Right Stuff?

I was having a weird train of thoughts the last couple of days, which have culminated in this dribbling out of my brain:

I had offhandly posted that I wouldn't want my parents to not be divorced in my little Tidbits About Me post...and that is true - they are as different as night and day. That got me to thinking back to when P and I were engaged. His parents were less than thrilled...it wasn't me - I believe it would have been anyone taking their baby away. Anyways, I digress. The point of that path was, at one point, they told P that one reason they weren't happy with the engagement was that I was more likely to get divorced because my parents were.

I really believe that it either has no effect on the chances, and if it does, it would lessen them, because I remember it, and I would want to avoid everything that went on...but anyways...

There was a value judgement there - that it is bad to be divorced. And that it's bad for the families if the parents divorce. I don't disagree, that it isn't ideal, but I don't see it as Earth-shattering, as so many people see it to be. I always had my mom, and my Dad. They weren't in the same house, but they were both there. I talked to my Dad almost every day, when I got home from school. Now, I was lucky - I had probably the most friendly divorced parents in the history of the world. They shared a lawyer. My Dad just wanted out, he wasn't going to fight. My mom doesn't fight, she keeps it in. I would have been much more miserable living with both of them, knowing about what was going on etc...

And I know all situations aren't like that.

But the 2nd half of that judgement on my in-laws part was that if we had kids, it would be bad. And that my parents were bad parents for "doing this to me."

So then my brain started going to the fact that I had to take O&E in to the vet today for their annuals. (Yes, my brain ties things together like this.) I hate it. They look so sad in their crates. They yowl in sadness. E cowers as she gets her shot, and she gets a high fever afterwards. But I do it. I'm a good cat-mommy. I climbed under the bed today to get her when the tornado sirens were going off. O had already been deposited in the basement. I came back to get her again and again, until I got her out from under the bed. The chances of the tornado hitting us are small, but I can't risk it. She has a soul like me - I "risked" my life to get her in the basement against her wishes, because it's my job.

All this rambling goes to - how will I know I'm going to be a good Mom? Do I have it in me? Is there any way to know ahead of time that I'm not going to screw up H royally? Is there a litmus test to say that I am at least not totally devoid of the qualities that will make a good parent?

By my in-laws reckoning, my Dad was a bad parent. He left me. He married again. We had our rough patches, of course, but he was there for me in more ways than most parents are...we every weekend talked during the hour to his house and the hour back to mine, one on one. He taught me about football, and threatened to put on a prom dress to try it on, cause he thought I'd look really good in it, if I wouldn't, in Marshall Fields. He taught me to sing like the Temptations, hand motions and all. He discussed world events with me for my high school essays. He took time out of every day at the company (Now my Happy Workland), in the middle of the busiest part of the day, to talk to me for 20 minutes, when I got home from school. How was he a bad Dad? He even let me work thru my anger in middle school and play the games of cancelling on him last minute because I for about 6 months thought he had been wrong "for leaving us." I've seen my inlaws on the other hand - one uncle and aunt, lived together hating each other until the kids left for college....the uncle now hasn't seen his daughter for 3 years. But, by many people's judgement, he's a better Dad than mine.

I've hoped and dreamed and planned and studied for H for more years than I can count now. I've read the books that DCFS have required, and our agency has required. I've met and become friends with adoptive parents, regular parents, been friends with people of all cultures (before the adoption - I didn't pick these people to fill this role, like our agency suggests we should do)...I've jumped thru countless hoops...but, does any of that matter?

I have common sense, a world awareness, desire, and compassion. Is that enough? Where's my final I have to take soon - something to give me a passing grade that proves I've studied enough? Where's my diploma that says I'm ready? Is there such a thing as ready?

Monday, August 6, 2007

A Bit About Me

Hummmm....I was asked by one of my two faithful readers to tell a bit more about me. I'm not good about talking about myself - contrary to the very narcissistic notion of starting a blog. A blog that inherently announces "I want people to know what I think and feel", thereby assuming a certain importance to ones thoughts...

Blogs have done that, and it's amazing. Part of why I wanted to do it - because it's a whole new world out there, baby. (Yes, I know it has been for 5-10 years, but, I'm slow, what can I say).

But to pick and choose facts about myself, to talk about the physical me, that's hard...it's different than talking about what I'm thinking somehow...

So here's 5 non-important facts about me (other than a bunch of them that you can pick out thru my piles of musings). Though they may become relevant - who knows?
1. I'm a redhead. Hence my user name on a large adoption board.

2. My parents are long-time divorced.
2b. I wouldn't have it any other way.

3. I work with my Dad at his company.

4. I adore chocolate. The darker, the better. Chocolate is a major food group. I would mainline chocolate, except for the fact that I have no taste buds in my veins...
4b. So is ketchup.

5. I like to think I'm a true friend, and a true enemy. Sounds harsh, but it's true. Though I don't really call anyone my enemy. It's a way to sum up: I'll call it like I see it. I don't sugar coat things (unless around the inlaws, and then I feel like I've betrayed myself for the cause of peace). I won't talk about you behind your back. I may hold a grudge, but you'll know about it up front. And if you don't betray my trust, I at least like to think I'm one of those friends that will go to the end of the Earth and back for you too...You always know where you stand with me. I'm not into the petty stuff. And I start out giving everyone the benefit of the doubt - I start out friendships assuming the same courtesy will be extended to me. Once burned though, I learn my lesson. Until then, I've got your back as much as you need me to.

How's that for a list?

From My Programmer...A Male...

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - she changes it more often..."

Funny thing is, a man would think that this is a bad thing! I still assert, Mr S (my programmer/work husband), that it is my perogative, until that time that I decide it shouldn't be. (Yeah, don't hold your breath on that one.)

:)

So, ppppppllllllbbbbbbtttttt!

From chinaadoptionforecast.com

A quote, complete, from the http://www.chinaadoptionforecast/ site:
"The people receiving referrals now have waited about 21 months. If you are just putting in your dossier right now, we expect you will wait at least three years from the time your dossier is logged-in for a referral. This will make your total time to adopt from China, from initial decision to adopt until receiving a child, more than four years. It could well be five years or more. It is our strong recommendation that you avoid adopting from China if at all possible, as we believe that if you are pursuing adoption, it is probably because you are interested in having a child in less than five years. Domestic adoption and international adoption from other countries are likely to be much faster ways to have a family than adopting from China."

These people have been watching China's adoptions much longer than I have. But, I have to agree with what they say. Further on down, they say that they believe that if you type in a date rather far off from the current cutoff, and you get an extrapolation of more than 3 years, they don't believe it, because of one thing: Attrition. Yes, many many people in the adoption world believe that so many people will give up, take their ball, and go home, that it will at some point assist with the wait time coming back down. Sad, huh? That this process, the one that should be so exciting and rewarding, can turn into such a sad and frustrating experience, that people will not only give up a life dream, but also thousands of dollars because of how the game changed.

Last summer, I tried to talk P into going to Vietnam. He said no way, we'd be here a year later. H would be with us by now. Hrrrmph.

Let's see what chinaadoptionforecast says (And I think they are a wee bit optimistic for even someone who's just 20ish days away):

Quote:
Our best guess - a weighted average of recent CCAA velocities, guessing that CCAA will perform about as well in the future as they are performing now, but might return to previous trends: 2007-09-30
That's our best guess for when you might receive your referral. Just at a guess, we can suppose that the CCAA either speeds up or slows down significantly, and show you those dates. If they speed up: 2007-09-09. And if they slow down: 2008-01-02.

And, that's not including travel folks. Yes, we have for sure ruled out yet another calendar year.

I find it so sad:
1. That this is not a joyful process anymore. It should be. This should be my (and everyone else's) glowing pregnancy days.
2. That the most respected IA program in the world is not anymore. On the whole, I think China does right by the kids it puts up for IA - they do their best to keep high ethics.
3. The reason for all this is politics of some sort. Why, we don't know, cause 3b. They won't tell anyone anything. If I was waiting for H to be abandoned, for a child to not have a home, I could not complain. That is not the case. The case is that China wants to save face. I respect the notion of face, that it is their culture, but as a Westerner, I cannot fathom living life by living that way. The idea that I can lie to someone not of the same standing because I don't think they have the right to ask for the truth? (That's just a small part of it, it's more complex than that, but this is a facet of it) That I do not get. And that children will grow up without mothers and fathers because the view that it isn't good to "let" that many kids into the IA program, well, you don't want to hear my words for that.
4. China took so long to put rules into place. The first 1/2 month came in November or October of 2005. That's 22 months ago. They knew about what they thought of as "too many applicants" at least 6 months before that. They put rules into effect May 1 2007. That's 24 or 25 months before they changed the rules to slow applications down. That's too many people that did not go into this with eyes open. Yes, there were the ones in 07 rushing to beat the new rules - they signed up for this. So many of us didn't.

OK, getting down off my apple crate and catching my breath...

Friday, August 3, 2007

The 80's Are Speaking To Me...

A song quote:

"I'm not tryin' to grow flowers in the desert..."

Appropriate, huh?

So the question is: Can you name the song? And the band? And the next line?

If y'all want to play the game, I could make this a weekly thing...

Cutoff: November 21, 2005

7 days worth of LIDs were cleared this month. 7 days of lucky parents that got their babies pics. They are so lucky. They got to get off this rollercoaster after only, what, 21 months?!? (Insert sarcastic eyeroll here)

We'll be at 20 months in a bit over a week here.

We're at 23 LID days between here and H.

23 measly days.

Which will equal, what? 3(if we're lucky)-5 months more wait.

Hummmm....when we first started, we were told 6-8 months, not more than 10....

Must be that New Math they do these days. Or it's corporate/governmental accounting math - one of the two.

Must go keep it together now. So glad we are going to be getting out of Dodge here for a bit. It can't come soon enough.

PS Oh, and my mom called from vacation in Alaska last night. I told here they did another week, thru the 21st, trying to be positive, it was movement forward. She said, "what, of July"? Then she said, oh it'll probably be when you are on vacation. I said, no they only did a week this time, how can they clear a month next month? And then she got pissy with me. "I don't understand how this works - you make it so complicated"

How is a big line with everyone stacked up in order so difficult? I told her to have Aunt C explain it to her over a martini. Then she snapped back at me: "I don't need to count it down on a calendar - it'll happen when it happens, if it happens."

Gee, thanks.

Bite me mom.

Off to Happy Workland to drown my sorrows in conference calls.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Weekend Part 2: What It's All About

Well, in the interest of fair reporting, I do want to tell you about Sunday too, cause I don't want to focus on just how hard it is with The Wait. So, we are going to give equal time to the other candidate: Fun and Happiness...

Sunday we drove up to the state border (well, within a few feet of it) to visit our friends A&A, and their daughters, whom I like to call Twinny Goodness (I know, cliched and silly). We met A&A thru the adoption, and then found out we were with the same agency. They are some of the best friends we've made thru this adoption. A is like the big sister I never had, And A is a really great guy too.. And the girls? Oh man, if you want to melt at cuteness, this is the place to do it.

The girls have been home since late last year, and are doing wonderfully. They are awe inspiring, in the face of what they have been thru in their short lives. They caught up so quickly on walking and eating, and gaining weight - they are now working so hard on their vocabulary. And A&A are the best parents - they are definetly the kind of parents I want to be...I've met some people I don't want to be like, but there's some that seem to really have it down pat too. They are two of them.

Now, if I can pull that off, that's another thing. :)

So we went up for a visit, went and had good yummy pizza and all the deep fried appetizers one could want, and just kicked back and spent the afternoon together...friends, good conversations, and a little cuteness on the side, what can be better than that?

Thanks guys, it was a wonderful day, and a much needed break! And thanks for the snazzy hand me downs for H - they will come in very handy!

Now back to our previously scheduled drama about when the heck referrals are going to show up. Tune in again in another week or so for some more sunshiny goodness...