Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Things People Just Have To Get Over...

OK, I'm just annoyed for some reason today...here's a list of things you should figure out BEFORE you decide to adopt from China:

  • If you can't tolerate the food, and you can't even think of trying to put it in your mouth...how are you going to survive for 2 weeks? I get some people have allergies, but that's a minority. Also, what are you teaching your kids? The adopted one...that there are big pieces of their culture that turn their parents' stomachs? And all of your kids...that they shouldn't just learn to freaking try something different?! You can live without starbucks and pizza for 2 weeks, believe it or not.
  • If you can't handle flying...how the hell are you going to get to China? You are adults, you have to get a grip...alcohol, xanax, valium ain't the way to do it. Again...how are you going to handle a new baby doped up? Do you know how many people like you have bruised, smacked, insulted, and tortured my mother during the 37 years of service she gave to the airlines as a flight attendent? And, also, at some point, it's being an example to your kids...do you want them to see the way to deal with hard things is to take drugs?
  • Egads, you may not get the brands you are used to in the store. Do you see an orange on it and it's a liquid? I'll betcha it's OJ. You'll survive.
  • You might not get the made-to-order child. I'm soooooo sick of seeing people get mad that they didn't get the 6 month old cherub with no institutional delays or other undisclosed issues. Really? I mean, you get a 15 month old instead of the 12 month you were hoping for and you throw a month long hissy fit?
  • SN/age/gender etc: EVERY ONE HAS THEIR OWN ANSWERS...some can do it, some can't. Just cause you think boy hugs are the best, do you really have to chatter in my ear that I'm defective cause I don't want to adopt a boy? Do I chatter at you that you won't accept an 8 year old? Hummmm? Do I think CL/CP is a big deal. Yeah. I do. I have my reasons. Others don't. Who cares. It's my choice, it's your choice. Because I chose a girl doesn't mean that I think your boy is crap. It's no value judgement of any kind on your kid - get over it.
  • Yeah, you have to carry lots cash to China. Don't pat your pocket every 3 minutes, and you'll do fine. And the money there is the Yuan....tip in Yuan. Pay in Yuan...don't ask to use dollars...that makes you an Ugly American.
  • People are going to say stupid crap about you and your kid. When it's your sister, brother, whatever then yeah, deal with it. But if some moronic old lady says something in the grocery store, you don't have to educate her. You owe her nothing. You owe your child everything. But, really, 1/2 the stuff out there is us being waaaaay too over-protective. Walk away and if you kid questions you about it, say "well, there's people who don't get it honey". But if you think you are going to stop every dumb forwarded message, you are going to have a very hard and bitter life...you have to put a filter on your indignation and decide what's worth your energy.
  • Lots of agencies suck. No, I'm sorry...let me rephrase that: Lots of agencies SUCK HAIRY-ASS. pick wisely. And be willing to stick up for yourself at the end of it all.
  • In the end, do what is right for you, for your child(ren), your family, even if it goes against what everyone else tells you. Do what in your heart speaks to you...that's how you find out that you are going to get to parent (another) best child in the world for you....and that's how you find your way to the most beautiful, amazing 8 year old girl in all of China.