And in the interest of full-disclosure, we did state a preference for a female child. But we said that we would gladly accept any child. Why? I don't know.
I have heard this time and time again: "Well, we're going to have one more, cause we really want a boy." and anything else along that line.
The one I've been hearing recently is swirling around M2 and her twins. She has one of each gender. This has been deemed in the ISO(In)Sanity 'hood to be the most amazing and 2nd coming of God that there has ever been around here, or so it seems.
A sampling:
"Boy and Girl? Ohhhhh....how amazing for her, she gets to have a boy too"
"Oh,
"At least she won't have to go thru this again to get a son."
"A boy to be proud of."
"Thank God at least one of them is a boy. I couldn't imagine not getting at least one boy."
Huh?
HUH?
HUH?
What are you people smoking? These are the same people that talk about how "sad it is that China doesn't value their females." Hello? You are still exhibiting the same thought pattern as they are, in reverse. Really, in essence, it is the same!
Why, if she wanted 2 kids total, would she go thru a horrible round of ivf to get a 3rd, and hope it's a boy? This was not easy for her...and if it mattered so much, why didn't she do testing to find boys before implantation?
Does a boy mean instant pride and glory for the parents (father?)?
Does a boy mean that they will be cared for or something? Bring them fame and fortune? People will sense that there is something in that diaper of one of the bald babies in your double McClaren, and deem you, the father, A Man, because there's now two penis' in the household?
1/2 the girls in this country (not a statistically correct figure) keep their names now. I'm the last on my Dad's side of the family. I'm an only - no step-'s even. My father was an only. His Dad had one sister. His Dad only had female siblings. So I was the last baby born with our name. I did not keep my name when I got married. No one cared. My Dad and Grandfather both said at or around my wedding..."Well you should have at least gotten a more pronouncable name out of this marriage!" (I didn't.)
So what? What does a name mean? Great, the kid has the name, but that doesn't guarantee that he will live up to it, if it is something to be "lived up to". The daughter in this family may be the one that is to be proud of (or they both may be, or neither is also an option)...and even if she doesn't keep a name, a set of letters, doesn't her character mean more than 6 letters on a yearly IRS form? I want my child to live up to (her) potential, not keeping Great-Great-Grandad's name sacred.
The stores don't help this inequity either...
Pink and purple abound for girls, with cute little woodland critters, bunnies, or kitties, or fields and fields of flowers. And then there is the dreaded "message T" that is so popular now. "Princess" "Spoiled rotten (this can be on both genders)" "insert dramatic, non-achieving title/position/person". On undies and pjs...hearts, bows, ballerinas, and for some reason, a perponderence of mushrooms on things...
Boys? Sports, sports, sports. "Big Hitter" "Team 1" Camo colored underwear, "Daddy's Champ" Helicopters and all kinds of military whatever..."Tough kid" etc etc etc...Why not just not only show the big moose on the boy clothes, but the hunter shooting it too...would that help kick his testosterone up a notch?
No, I'm not going to put my boy in pink plaid pants and a pink polo shirt...he'd get his ass kicked, cause he'd look like a bad miniature version of an 80's Tom Cruise. I also wouldn't put my girl in it, cause I don't want my kid looking like a pepto bottle exploded all over her. But would I tell her she can't have the helicopter tshirt if that's what she liked? Would I tell my son he can't wear a pink polo shirt? No. Cause, really, what's the deal? And I don't want my son becoming a ballerina, cause, well, I hate ballet. I appreciate it, and it's probably cause my parents put me in dance so they could cure my 2 left feet, but it's not one of my top priorities for after school class. If it is requested, or an interest is shown, fine, sign H up. But I'm not going to seek it out.
H might become the best violinist, hockey player, free hands jazz dancer, reader of ancient texts, doctor, fighter pilot, accountant, photographer, fashion designer, engineer, carpenter, or flight attendent ever. And that's fine with me. Whichever gender H ends up being.
Don't teach our kids gender prioritizing or gender limitations...that's not fair...please.
1 comment:
Nothing left for me to say because you said it all. Thank you!
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