Blah.

Blah.

That sums it up. Completely and totally.

Blah, blah, blah.

Work: Blah
Home: Blah
Desire to blog: Blah (yeah, I know, I have Terracotta Warriors, Shanghai and Gorges to still share with you...blah)
Eat? Blah
Sleep? OK, I'm up for that one. Sorta...till 4 in the morning, at least...
Concentrate? Blah.

I am so convinced that this month will be the month that tells us when we are going to get our referral, it was driving me nuts. It still is, but I'm just divorced from it at this point. I even wrote a long snarky, and hopefully smart, post about people who want to hide their bigotry, but still want to put it out there...I call is sissy racism. They know they are wrong, but until they own it, nothing will change. It's in my drafts folder. Do I post it? Blah...someone might get mad, and I'm not up for heated debate this week...

Even P has been irratating me this week. We had a "discussion" about things, things that seemed important, but they weren't. They were fueled by the stress over the adoption, and the stress over how we handle it differently. We don't "discuss" a lot, so this was big-ish. But we, I think, had made some connection and understood each other better at the end. Har. Har de har har. Last night, I was down by H's room, and so I plopped down in the new super comfy chair we had delivered right before we left on vacation (thanks C&B - I know I've kept your profits up over the years, but you do make comfy furniture!) in H's room. I sat there for all of 5 minutes and in P walks. "Whaddya doing in here?" "Nothin, just rocking." "Driving yourself crazy is more like it."

Do men hear when we talk? I don't think so. He went to sleep last night with a nice cold block of ice laying next to him. What part of the "discussion" of him invalidating my feelings of sadness over this and allowing me to deal with things my way did he not get? So now I'm crazy cause I am dealing with the feelings of needing here her by - gasp - sitting in her room for 5 stinking minutes, and just sorta daydreaming? Well, that "right before you are going to go to sleep, sorta thinking coherent thoughts kinda daydreaming"...Nice...here's what I think of our mutual respect for different coping mechanisms....ppppplllllhhhhbbbbbtttttt.

Disclaimer: P is 98.5% of the time the most wonderful husband you could want. It's that last 1% of the time that you think they there's somethings with that y chromosome that you just can't overcome. (Oh, and that other 0.5%, that's when I think they just dropped him on his head one too many times.)

This one is going to rear it's head again when we get to the point of waiting for T.A. or some other "A" or something during the wait to get to China - if they ever ask us to come (OK, some self-pity was thrown in there for some good measure, so sue me.) I just know it.

Blah.

Anyone got any suggestions to get me un-blah? At least suggestions to get me going on a ranting post? There's got to be something that'll get me worked up over something!