Losing It Over Here

OK folks, I'm losing it over here. Totally. Freaking. Panicked. Throat closing fear...

I'm just a giant stress ball walking around in some pretty sweet sandals, if I do say so myself...P is sick. Deadly sick. Ball on couch sick. He could cut his hand off with a miter saw, and he wouldn't go to the doctor. He won't go to the doctor sick either, but he "mans it up" when injured...now, he becomes this whining lump on the couch. OTC meds? No. Food? No. Water? Maybe. TV? Cranky grunt. This is what it will be like to have a sick 3 year old.

And The Boss Dad is gone. He's at his luxury resort out West...and the mood of the office changes when he's gone. And the fish get sick and die. I hate it. I hate that stupid tank. They know the Big Kahuna fish is off on vacation, and they decide which one will sacrifice it's life to make me cry as I dig it out of the tank. The trigger fish named Bubbles chose the short straw this time.

And the adoption world is abuzz with all kinds of crap. And everyone is waiting for referrals. I'm waiting for referrals. I won't get a referral. I won't get a referral next time. But I've convinced myself that this is the month that will tell me when we'll find out about H. Why, oh why do I do this to myself? I have worked myself into an ulcerated state over this. This is going so slow this month. Crazy slow. How will I hope to get thru this when I get to the time I hope to get referral?????

And what if China shuts down now? What if China changes the rules now? What if the Earth stops spinning on its axis and goes retrograde???? What if the mastedons come back to take over the Earth? What if they refer me a pink elephant instead of a little child? Where will I get clothes for a pink elephant?

And the inlaws are coming. In 4.66666 days, approximately. And my house is not clean. I did not rest at all yesterday, but confounded it, I did that stupid registry on Saturday. And I don't have that stupid scrapbook page done. Hell, I don't have it started. I will be mocked and hated even more by the in-laws. Now, we won't talk about this being P's family, and his roll in this, but even if he wanted to help (and he will, oh he will, Mister Exacto Knife Skills), he's so sick, if he held an exacto right now, well...nothing good would come out of that mixed with the wooziness.

Something is going to go wrong. I have a sense of doom. I just don't know in what area of life. I'm even afraid to go get my birthday spa pedicure this afternoon...the lady might cut my toe off for some stupid negligent reason.

How am I going to get thru the rest of this year, let alone this week? Please....please....talk me down!

Or at least tell me where to get clothes for a 9 month old pink elephant...