T-Minus 1 Day, 1 Hour, and Counting...

OK, the house is clean. The laundry is done. The ironing is done. The wish? Not done. Started...thinking has occurred, P has become involved. P has done the first exacto knifing that I needed for the "number" for the birthday to be celebrated.

And I've got his flipping death cold. But guess what? I still cleaned house and went to work, and will be going to work shortly. So, Mr Death Warmed Over On The Couch...ppppplllllllhhhhhbbbbbbbbbttttt!

Of course, I could lay on the couch when the relatives are here! :)

And of course, the CCAA hasn't even thrown us a bone. A measley knowing glance in our general direction. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I know we aren't in this month, but I've somehow gotten invested in the idea of November referral, travel in the first dawning days of '08...(yeah, nothing like setting myself up for disappointment, huh?)

They changed the review room date...again. I know that makes these people happy and relieved. I felt that a YEAR AGO this month, when we cleared that room. Hello? A year ago!

A year ago my friend, a few days ago plus that year, my good friends got their referral. A referral of twins. Amazing. I was screaming in the office when she called. These two little ones are amazing people. So are the parents, but they aren't as cute. I called P to tell him - he was on a business trip. I forgot that it was his first business trip overseas. Ergo, when I called, it was his first night in Germany..first middle of the night. Har! He didn't find it humorous at that point in time. I was soooo excited for them. I can't imagine what I'll feel when it's actually my turn.

Those friends were only 4.75 months ahead of us, LID-wise. And here we still sit, a year later. Still not knowing when we'll get a referral, and when. 6-8 months my butt, Agency.

OK, off to work, my last refuge before the descent into Family Madness Weekend. It's ok though, I need some material to rant about next week. And I'll have plenty, I'm sure. And I promise to post up some pics of the Gorges finally too - I've finally weeded the good from the bad on those too.

Thanks for letting me ramble...

I'm About To Assume The Fetal Position

My back is killing me...I think my shoulders are around my ears...

Happy Workland is so....happy. So happy I want to puke.

And it's T-Minus 2 days 11 hours till the in-laws arrive. I still don't have the scrapbook page done. Or started. Oh my god, they've always been convinced that I am a pagan (well Lutheran, but to them, the same thing) raised child who is not worthy for their family...The Page is not done.

Why is it not done? Well, I've been de-pile-ing my home. Things that did not have any explosive charge in them somehow exploded when they hit the air of our home. Pictures of China...kaboom! Papers and tidbits galore brought back from China...bang! Gifts for people I have yet to see since we returned...Pow! Unread literature that showed up in our mailbox...Boom! Aggggggghhhh...not something my MIL, June Cleaver should see. And of course, I took on the challenge of cleaning all the curio cabinets in the house to show off our new mementos too...so it's not like I live in a pigsty folks...well, compared to her house, yeah, yeah I do...

And P? He's still dead. He seemed to get about 10% life back tonight. We'll see how tomorrow goes. That's another reason The Page is not done...Mr Exacto Knife hasn't been quite up to wielding a sharp implement. Won't go to the doctor though either...I think he's hoping this fells him again in time for Saturday with The Fam...hah, ain't going to happen, buddy...I'll hire an ambulance crew to get you there. You aren't leaving me alone with your closest 60 or so relatives! And I haven't found a place to sweep him under the rug either, so there's a big messy lump in my family room.

Does having the laundry done count for something??? Anything???

We haven't seen the Sis in law in a few years now. I always worry how that's going to go too...we don't...errrr...mesh well.

And, OMG. Have y'all been reading RQ? It's just a stressor - we're all so on edge. I can't wait till I get asked when SIL gets to see her niece...I may just myself explode when I hear that.

The good news is folks - I did find an online shop, and I have $356.87 in clothes from sizes 6 months to 3T for a pink elephant on the way, so that panic is taken care of...

Is it like watching a train wreck yet? Can't look away, but knowing you should??

Must try to sleep tonight...must try...

Losing It Over Here

OK folks, I'm losing it over here. Totally. Freaking. Panicked. Throat closing fear...

I'm just a giant stress ball walking around in some pretty sweet sandals, if I do say so myself...P is sick. Deadly sick. Ball on couch sick. He could cut his hand off with a miter saw, and he wouldn't go to the doctor. He won't go to the doctor sick either, but he "mans it up" when injured...now, he becomes this whining lump on the couch. OTC meds? No. Food? No. Water? Maybe. TV? Cranky grunt. This is what it will be like to have a sick 3 year old.

And The Boss Dad is gone. He's at his luxury resort out West...and the mood of the office changes when he's gone. And the fish get sick and die. I hate it. I hate that stupid tank. They know the Big Kahuna fish is off on vacation, and they decide which one will sacrifice it's life to make me cry as I dig it out of the tank. The trigger fish named Bubbles chose the short straw this time.

And the adoption world is abuzz with all kinds of crap. And everyone is waiting for referrals. I'm waiting for referrals. I won't get a referral. I won't get a referral next time. But I've convinced myself that this is the month that will tell me when we'll find out about H. Why, oh why do I do this to myself? I have worked myself into an ulcerated state over this. This is going so slow this month. Crazy slow. How will I hope to get thru this when I get to the time I hope to get referral?????

And what if China shuts down now? What if China changes the rules now? What if the Earth stops spinning on its axis and goes retrograde???? What if the mastedons come back to take over the Earth? What if they refer me a pink elephant instead of a little child? Where will I get clothes for a pink elephant?

And the inlaws are coming. In 4.66666 days, approximately. And my house is not clean. I did not rest at all yesterday, but confounded it, I did that stupid registry on Saturday. And I don't have that stupid scrapbook page done. Hell, I don't have it started. I will be mocked and hated even more by the in-laws. Now, we won't talk about this being P's family, and his roll in this, but even if he wanted to help (and he will, oh he will, Mister Exacto Knife Skills), he's so sick, if he held an exacto right now, well...nothing good would come out of that mixed with the wooziness.

Something is going to go wrong. I have a sense of doom. I just don't know in what area of life. I'm even afraid to go get my birthday spa pedicure this afternoon...the lady might cut my toe off for some stupid negligent reason.

How am I going to get thru the rest of this year, let alone this week? Please....please....talk me down!

Or at least tell me where to get clothes for a 9 month old pink elephant...

Big Baby Store and a Migraine

Oh, lordy, lordy, lordy....How timely my post yesterday!

Something possessed us, P and I. An actual unplanned Saturday, undetected radon fumes spewing forth from the basement maybe?, or we each slipped each other ruffies and therefore don't remember it...

We went to the big baby store in the much bigger suburb and worked on THE REGISTRY. The theory was, we'd get it out of the way, close enough to be relevant, and before things got crazy around here next month, and then, after crazy month, hopefully referral.

So off we went, mid afternoon, and arrived there. We got in and got a scanner relatively quick, and started beeping away. Happy but apparently we didn't have that crazed parents-to-be look, and I didn't have the body for it, so we got looks of course. (Maaaaan, I never have "the body" for anything!)

Some super duper fun things happened:

1. We were in the toy section, and there was a dad there with his two little ones. The smaller one was about 4. He was on a plastic riding toy of some sort (and it was PINK), and having a ball, and behaving. We stepped over him a few times, then the dad started talking to him:

"Hey xxxx, that's a girls bike."
"I like it Daddy, this is fun. It goes in really small circles Daddy."

"xxxx, it's pink. Guess what, that's a dead give-away. It's a girls bike."

Dude? Is your kid happy? Is he being respectful? Is he being sweet to you? What's the deal? Did you lose 2 inches cause your son, your progeny, was on a piece of pink plastic from China instead of a blue or red piece of plastic from China? What does it matter? It was so nice to see a child being nice and happy and playing, and NOT screaming and begging and being snotty to his parents until he got what he wanted. But you're totally teaching him to be a snot, and a sexist at that.

2. I can't say anything but post a picture:

Yes, this is a binky with cheesy, crappy "crystals" on it. And not only that, they come with things like CROWNS on them. Yeah, that's not going to create a child that has a major sense of entitlement, now is it? Or is it the parent that would buy this cheap looking piece of crap that is going to create a child with a huge sense of entitlement? Either way, if I ever ever see a child with this, I am so going to cross the street, even if it's a 6 lane highway at rush hour, to get away from this Drama Queen in training (cause, it's pink dude, so no boy would be allowed to use it!)

What the heck?

And yeah, people, I don't have a basketball in my shirt, and I'm not "glowing", but I'm going to be a Mom, so bite me that I have one of the precious, "in the club" scanners to put stuff on my registry. Do you really want to do hand to hand combat to get it away from me? Cause I've been waiting for my kid for over 2 years, so I think I've got what it takes to keep it in my grasp.

Sorry I don't fit your mold.

Thank God It's a Boy & Cover That Diaper With Camo

I know this is kinda an ironic topic, considering H will be coming from China, and H will probably be a girl, cause of ... But, I gotta pull myself out of this rut, and awhile back I had a tangent in my head, so I'm going to try and get it back.

And in the interest of full-disclosure, we did state a preference for a female child. But we said that we would gladly accept any child. Why? I don't know.

I have heard this time and time again: "Well, we're going to have one more, cause we really want a boy." and anything else along that line.

The one I've been hearing recently is swirling around M2 and her twins. She has one of each gender. This has been deemed in the ISO(In)Sanity 'hood to be the most amazing and 2nd coming of God that there has ever been around here, or so it seems.

A sampling:
"Boy and Girl? Ohhhhh....how amazing for her, she gets to have a boy too"
"Oh, must be so happy! He'll have a son."
"At least she won't have to go thru this again to get a son."
"A boy to be proud of."
"Thank God at least one of them is a boy. I couldn't imagine not getting at least one boy."

Huh?

HUH?

HUH?

What are you people smoking? These are the same people that talk about how "sad it is that China doesn't value their females." Hello? You are still exhibiting the same thought pattern as they are, in reverse. Really, in essence, it is the same!

Why, if she wanted 2 kids total, would she go thru a horrible round of ivf to get a 3rd, and hope it's a boy? This was not easy for her...and if it mattered so much, why didn't she do testing to find boys before implantation?

Does a boy mean instant pride and glory for the parents (father?)?

Does a boy mean that they will be cared for or something? Bring them fame and fortune? People will sense that there is something in that diaper of one of the bald babies in your double McClaren, and deem you, the father, A Man, because there's now two penis' in the household?

1/2 the girls in this country (not a statistically correct figure) keep their names now. I'm the last on my Dad's side of the family. I'm an only - no step-'s even. My father was an only. His Dad had one sister. His Dad only had female siblings. So I was the last baby born with our name. I did not keep my name when I got married. No one cared. My Dad and Grandfather both said at or around my wedding..."Well you should have at least gotten a more pronouncable name out of this marriage!" (I didn't.)

So what? What does a name mean? Great, the kid has the name, but that doesn't guarantee that he will live up to it, if it is something to be "lived up to". The daughter in this family may be the one that is to be proud of (or they both may be, or neither is also an option)...and even if she doesn't keep a name, a set of letters, doesn't her character mean more than 6 letters on a yearly IRS form? I want my child to live up to (her) potential, not keeping Great-Great-Grandad's name sacred.

The stores don't help this inequity either...
Pink and purple abound for girls, with cute little woodland critters, bunnies, or kitties, or fields and fields of flowers. And then there is the dreaded "message T" that is so popular now. "Princess" "Spoiled rotten (this can be on both genders)" "insert dramatic, non-achieving title/position/person". On undies and pjs...hearts, bows, ballerinas, and for some reason, a perponderence of mushrooms on things...

Boys? Sports, sports, sports. "Big Hitter" "Team 1" Camo colored underwear, "Daddy's Champ" Helicopters and all kinds of military whatever..."Tough kid" etc etc etc...Why not just not only show the big moose on the boy clothes, but the hunter shooting it too...would that help kick his testosterone up a notch?

No, I'm not going to put my boy in pink plaid pants and a pink polo shirt...he'd get his ass kicked, cause he'd look like a bad miniature version of an 80's Tom Cruise. I also wouldn't put my girl in it, cause I don't want my kid looking like a pepto bottle exploded all over her. But would I tell her she can't have the helicopter tshirt if that's what she liked? Would I tell my son he can't wear a pink polo shirt? No. Cause, really, what's the deal? And I don't want my son becoming a ballerina, cause, well, I hate ballet. I appreciate it, and it's probably cause my parents put me in dance so they could cure my 2 left feet, but it's not one of my top priorities for after school class. If it is requested, or an interest is shown, fine, sign H up. But I'm not going to seek it out.

H might become the best violinist, hockey player, free hands jazz dancer, reader of ancient texts, doctor, fighter pilot, accountant, photographer, fashion designer, engineer, carpenter, or flight attendent ever. And that's fine with me. Whichever gender H ends up being.

Don't teach our kids gender prioritizing or gender limitations...that's not fair...please.

Blah.

Blah.

That sums it up. Completely and totally.

Blah, blah, blah.

Work: Blah
Home: Blah
Desire to blog: Blah (yeah, I know, I have Terracotta Warriors, Shanghai and Gorges to still share with you...blah)
Eat? Blah
Sleep? OK, I'm up for that one. Sorta...till 4 in the morning, at least...
Concentrate? Blah.

I am so convinced that this month will be the month that tells us when we are going to get our referral, it was driving me nuts. It still is, but I'm just divorced from it at this point. I even wrote a long snarky, and hopefully smart, post about people who want to hide their bigotry, but still want to put it out there...I call is sissy racism. They know they are wrong, but until they own it, nothing will change. It's in my drafts folder. Do I post it? Blah...someone might get mad, and I'm not up for heated debate this week...

Even P has been irratating me this week. We had a "discussion" about things, things that seemed important, but they weren't. They were fueled by the stress over the adoption, and the stress over how we handle it differently. We don't "discuss" a lot, so this was big-ish. But we, I think, had made some connection and understood each other better at the end. Har. Har de har har. Last night, I was down by H's room, and so I plopped down in the new super comfy chair we had delivered right before we left on vacation (thanks C&B - I know I've kept your profits up over the years, but you do make comfy furniture!) in H's room. I sat there for all of 5 minutes and in P walks. "Whaddya doing in here?" "Nothin, just rocking." "Driving yourself crazy is more like it."

Do men hear when we talk? I don't think so. He went to sleep last night with a nice cold block of ice laying next to him. What part of the "discussion" of him invalidating my feelings of sadness over this and allowing me to deal with things my way did he not get? So now I'm crazy cause I am dealing with the feelings of needing here her by - gasp - sitting in her room for 5 stinking minutes, and just sorta daydreaming? Well, that "right before you are going to go to sleep, sorta thinking coherent thoughts kinda daydreaming"...Nice...here's what I think of our mutual respect for different coping mechanisms....ppppplllllhhhhbbbbbtttttt.

Disclaimer: P is 98.5% of the time the most wonderful husband you could want. It's that last 1% of the time that you think they there's somethings with that y chromosome that you just can't overcome. (Oh, and that other 0.5%, that's when I think they just dropped him on his head one too many times.)

This one is going to rear it's head again when we get to the point of waiting for T.A. or some other "A" or something during the wait to get to China - if they ever ask us to come (OK, some self-pity was thrown in there for some good measure, so sue me.) I just know it.

Blah.

Anyone got any suggestions to get me un-blah? At least suggestions to get me going on a ranting post? There's got to be something that'll get me worked up over something!

We're not in Kansas anymore

OK, so I know it's sport to find funny translations on signs, but I thought this one was just too hilarious. This was outside the panda sanctuary's outdoor habitats in Beijing. (Warning to soon visiting inlaws too, I think!)

There were a couple of really odd, only things that I can describe as "well, we're in Communist China now" events, and I thought I'd relay them to you!

1. We left our Yangtze river cruise in a city called Yichang. It was definetly the low point of the trip...I still owe you the story of the sturgeon research center. It's not that great, seeing as I was so dazed and confused by the whole experience that I didn't take any pics...but, I still have to think about how to tell that in a humorous way and not gross y'all out. The other thing we did there was we went to a museum while biding our time for our flight to Shanghai. The museum reminded P & I of our visits to the Soviet Union. Dark, abandoned but for us and staff, only 1/4 of the lights on etc etc etc. Some of the materials were very interesting, and they did their best to show us around and explain things in English. But they did it "all" in about 30 minutes. So it was what it was. OK, that was cool - I saw a few really spiffy artifacts. I was good. It didn't satisfy my museum craving, but it helped abate it for awhile. Then they took us to what I thought was the obligitory gift shop stop. In there, there was a table with doilys on it, with bronze figures, and a wall of shelves with pots and crocks and other ceramic things. Ok, reproductions...got it. Hah! No! They were selling things that were part of their collection! Yes! Not significant, Emporer Qin Shi Huangdi Death Mask kinda stuff, but real stuff. They gave the speech about things over such and such and age can't be exported, and assured us that this was all newer than that and we'd get appropriate paperwork. They were all things unearthed at the 3 Gorges Dam Site. Most were from early 20th century. There was a really cool mythical dragon/dog kinda thing, and it was "only" 900USD. Yes, I know, cheap for an antique. But I got the idea that they would haggle like the Hello People in the street, though probably not discount that much. And they said they were selling off these minor pieces to raise money for further restoration work and more research and a better muesum, and I get that in theory. But, to be in a muesum and be able to buy the stuff? It just seemed so....wrong! Another couple that was convinced I was buying everything Chinese I could get my hands on that could be described as art (I bought a lot of stuff from local painters/street artists etc), I could tell were watching me, guessing if anyone would do it, it would be me. And anyways, after 10 days in China, 900USD sounds so expensive. But I could never do it. It's my western view of things...

2. I was a minor celebrity in China. At the Great Wall, some soldiers walked up to it in formation, and when one of them turned and saw me, he fell out of step. I know my hair is very strawberry, but really? And then at the Pearl TV tower, I saw a pair of guys in their 20s looking at me and talking, and when I turned away but kept them in the corner of my eye, they whipped out their cells and took pics of me. I also had a lady point her water bottle at me and say to her family/friends "see her" (in Mandarin of course). Ahhhh...if I was only brave enough to dye the hair. Funny, I got most stares in the "big cities", not the small towns.

3. We had no life vests on 1 plane. It was a Sichuan Airlines flight from Xi'an to Chongqing. Brand spanking new A320, and a meal on a flight of 1.5 hours. But no life vests. I know, the chances of being in a position to use them, and survive initial impact are next to nothing...but it was a brand new plane...doesn't Airbus throw those in as a free gift with purchase?

3b. All the flights had food, and very courteous and almost subservient flight attendents.

3c. Every single flight were were on (3) was on time, and no one lost their luggage in our group of 25. I know, it's a small sampling to go off of, but oh my!

Definetly not the US anymore on that one!

4. One big guy on our trip asked a waitress if they had a "big plate" (i.e. dinner plate). He didn't like the appetizer ones that were always eating off of. She just cocked her head and looked at him and said "Big?" He just looked completely confused that she didn't understand, and she looked at him like he was a big dumb fat American. And she was right.

5. Everything about the Three Gorges Dam Project could fit under this heading, but it's also one I'm still thinking about how to post about. I've got very mixed emotions and thoughts on the whole thing. Still trying to sort it all out.

6. We were at what could be best described as a candy store in Shanghai. There were some "pre-mixed bags" if you didn't want to pick and choose. I understood different people at different counters seemed to be competing with each other. Commission or basically being seperate vendors or something. At the back of the store was a man and a woman with some bags between them. He started talking to us, and then she did too. They were talking to each other, and not in that chasing the other one away like they do when they've already pegged you as "their customer." So they seemed to be working together. She had a small pair of scissors, kinda like bonsai scissors. She offered us a tiny bit to taste. He spoke to her, then offered a price. All seemed well. I negotiated a little bit off - I know others could have gotten more, but I just wanted to buy the candy, as out time was short, so I got about 4 RMB off - I got him to agree on "er-shi", 20 yaun. I had the candy bag for P's coworkers in hand, in a shopping bag provided by the man. She was just standing there. P handed him the money. All hell broke loose. She started screaming at the man, and then, brandishing the scissors at him. P and I took that as our chance to vacate the premises. I did not know how to say "Ma'am, please step away from the scissors" in Mandarin, let alone make it sound authoritative enough. I didn't see any footage on the nightly news of a body under a sheet with something sticking out of his chest, so he must have talked her down.

I'm not knocking China in any way on any of these posts, please don't take it that way. I just enjoy seeing how different cultural things are - and not judging which one is better and which one is worse. I just somehow see the importance of travel in different ways than just showing you the picture of the Great Wall that everyone else shows you. Yes, I took it, and yes, P and I are also in one grinning like idiots, and it'll be in the family photo album, but, what's the fun in that here?

Let the Head Banging Begin

And, not in a good way...we interrupt this happy recall of vacations recently taken...

You are going to get to see me ranting about another hot topic for me. One, that for the sake of family peace in the P&K household, I try to keep my lip buttoned on. But, for the next few weeks, I think you're going to see it, and it's going to culminate the last weekend in September.

P's family is having a big to-do for a certain elderly family member. Fine. Wonderful. How sweet. Some of his family is ok, a few are really sweet, a bunch are clueless, and some have quite a painful past with me. All of them are converging on this major metropolis the last weekend in September.

So, I call an ancillary family member, who is listed on the RSVP note from work today. I tell her, up front, I'm at work. i.e. Keep this short, kind-hearted but deluded family member to my husband. Har. First off, they put an important note on a sticky note on the back of the invite. Hello!??! Then, I ask about what the sticky note really means...it's a project for said elderly person. What do they really want? "Oh I don't know - that's my brother's project. I don't really know anything about it." Really? Then why is it on the invite with your phone number? Is there a theme? No...do whatever you want. Like this makes it easier. Then she says I can pick a theme and she'll call everyone...hello? Not your project. And me, in their world a far removed ancillary family member in law, so I am so not stepping in that pile.

But this is all minor normal sweet but delusional in-law. I'm still ok, but eye rolling. And I want to get back to work.

Then...wham! "Have you heard anything from China yet?" Uhhhhhh...the typical yada yada...they are getting close, we're thinking December, hoping for November, preparing worst case for January. "Oh, so you know when you are getting her and where she is, right?" Grrrrr...how many times have I explained this? Oh, and yeah, you know, I'm going to forget to mention that we have a child now when I talk to you...yeah, right. Isn't that the first thing I'll tell you after not talking to you for 3+ months?

Then, the clincher..."And there was really no way to do anything in this country." Say this last part with dripping, intoned implications. This one person when first told we were adopting straight out said why not here, or Russia? i.e. Why do you want a minority kid? She's the same one who told us she didn't think her son was ready to settle down with his 1/2 german 1/2 mexican girlfriend of...oh, 10 years! She was great as a girlfriend...I don't think she was viewed as a great wife to be for her child. They don't treat her bad as far as I know, but they had a problem that I was raised protestant, so how was the Latin American thing really going over, you know?

I was angry. I was hurt. I was pissed. First, it's none of your damn business. Secondly, I have tried to educate them all a lot of times, and given up. Thirdly, I'm thinking, do I finally just ask her "why, isn't a chinese kid good enough for the family?" I digressed, but I laid out some of the horror stories on domestic adoption. (And don't flame me, I know that so many go well, but we chose what we chose because that is what we are comfortable with. Potato Potahto. And I wanted her to back off, ok?). "Oh my, so sad. You should be able to get a baby here. It would be so much nicer."

(Fade into dream sequence)...Fine...you know what? Don't come to my baby shower if someone ever throws one for me (yeah, you - you who have thrown them for every family member who has a functioning uterus). Don't come see my H when H comes home. You aren't my blood, I don't need you. Now stick this damn invite up your ass and show it to the rest of the family that hates anyone that isn't like them too, please, cause, frankly I'm sick of it after all these years...I'm sorry that I'm not Catholic, Polish, and my parents are divorced freaks, and we aren't all doctors like y'all. Guess what, we're not lesser than you. And our lovely child, who I will adore more than any of you, she's going to be Asian. Chinese actually, probably Han ethnicity....and I wouldn't trade that for a baby to come out of my womb. And I know that doesn't matter for a lick of shit to most of the world, but it does to you, so go sit on the other side of the city, and please stay there.(fade out of dream sequence).

Sorry - getting it all out of the way now, cause I've been hearing, well, crap, like that from them for 2 years now about H, and I'm going to have about 50-60 of them all doing this to me in a smidge over 2 weeks. (I know, I'm an ugly person, but that above is 14 years of pent up angst, so I'm not doing too bad, I don't think).

But, I sucked it up and said "we're just so excited to be able to go to China and be granted the privilege to raise one of their wonderful children. P and I think this is the right choice for us, and we can't wait for you to meet her."

Yes, I had my b.s. generator up to "11." Aren't you proud of me?

I'm going to have to put it on standby from now till the party, keep up the battery backups, cause I'm going to be needing more than hip waders (I've got a scuba suit on order) to get thru this event.

Do you really want to know my logic string?

OK, I guess I'm remiss is realizing that those out there in Blog-World may not know me enough to know how I make crazy decisions sometimes...

This is how we ended up in China the last few weeks...

We've been playing this hold vacation/complain about not going to get H/use a bit of vacation/get nervous about using said vacation/hold rest of vacation/realize we're not getting H this year/blow all the vacation except the one paltry week P can carry over/panic about what if a miracle occurs...

We're almost at that last step...except P has more time right now - he'll probably end up wasting it away by not really working in December, like he had to last year, and cleaning off his honey-do list.

So we decided we were sick of being stateside (I lasted longer than I usually do - I usually get antsy many months quicker than this!) and started trying to find somewhere. I was charged with finding somewhere "exotic" if I was going to spend the money by hubby. I came up with Japan. Do you know how much it costs to not only get to Japan but then stay there? It breaks my rule of places that cost more to get to are cheaper to stay in...

So I jokingly thru out China, and got the evil eye back..."you'll be there soon enough, keep your undies unbundled" I heard. So we dropped it. So I cruised the internet. Landed on some China trips. Figured out there's a whole heck of a lot I still want to see (had a trip planned before I had to cancel it in '05 cause of my first endo surgery)...and those Gorges are filling up fast. So I started working the hubby over - let's see the things we've always wanted to see - we won't be able to do it on the next trip. And it worked.

Se we booked the trip a month before we left - tops. We had to go down to the nearest big city to hand deliver our passports to the embassy for our visas to get them back in time. (That was a little sad) And then we packed our bags and off we went. Did everything we were going to do in '05 except for Tibet. That would have been 2 more plane flights, and 4 more days, and we didn't want to risk that much time...seeing as we're still foolish and hopeful.

So, we left the Midwest and landed 14ish (I think) hours later in Beijing. Then we went to Xi'an, then Chongqing, picked up the riverboat, floated down to Yichang (the only place I wasn't thrilled with - I'll have to tell you about the Sturgeon IVF they are doing over there...something I could have lived without seeing the video of in my life) and then flew again to Shanghai.

So that's the story. We're here, getting over jet lag and trying to get into the work routine. I overslept today, so off I go to the Happy Workland. I'll try to post more pics later today...

So, when do y'all think I'm going back?

Pork Buns, Dumplings and Other Beautiful Details

Ok, here we go with my first attempt at a published vacation log.

I'll try to skip the stereotypical shots of The Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, and The Great Wall, like you can see anywhere...there's way more better photos of all that then I can produce!

OK, first off, I respect any culture that sees and appreciates the beauty in all the details. I mean really, if you don't cherish the little stuff, the details that make the difference, then there's a lot of life that is just glossed over...There is no such thing as too small a detail to the Chinese people.

First, check out these dumplings:

Yes, those are froggies on the left and a wonderfully posed pic of what we ate on the right...The green one was a leaf shape, there's a little baggy looking one, a walnut shaped one, and a duck one. Not only were these amazing. Wonderful, borderline-chocolate level goodness. Man, I can't get dumplings to even be uniformally round! There's love in there, man.

And, another unlikely place to find beauty:

This was under our feet in The Forbidden City. You can't see it really clear now that I downsized the pic for viewing ease, but it's a scene of leaves and flowers and branches made out of stones set in the pavement. There was also one of a bicycle, but you can't make it out at all when the pic is downsized. I know this was for the Emperor and all, but there's still someone's soul in this art. And I saw pavings like this all over China.

(Yes, it was China. And no, H is not here with us.)

And, back to food, cause I'm all about the food, especially when it comes to piggy. The pork buns. The steamed, bbq-porky pigish ooeey gooey yummy insides wrapped up in a spongy squishy carb-gasmic outside. I could live on these things. Seriously. There's a bit of onion or one of the lesser veggies in there. All major food groups are therefore covered. I don't have a picture though, cause, well, every last one went into my belly before I could get a pic. But I'll swear on whatever book you want me to that each and every one was beautiful.

Just a note on the rice "wine" (a bit off topic here)...yeah, ok, love ya China. Love ya a lot. But, seriously folks, anything that is between 90-108 proof is not "wine." It's moonshine mixed with some rocket fuel. Yeah, I drank it. Had 2.5 shots of it after I found out about the 11/25 cutoff (see the bottle in the dumpling shot? Yeah, they make it pretty so you aren't aware of the danger lurking within!), but "wine?" Har. That stuff burns folks. Burns good.

Next post, I'll tell you my favorite story about hanging out with some locals. Wish I had spent more time, but I was afraid of being left behind. For now, I'll leave you with the knowledge that not only did I eat the most wonderful food for 11 days to my hearts content, but I also managed to lose 3.50lbs somehow while doing it!

6 Years Ago Today...

6 Years Ago Today, the world changed. Thousands of innocent lives were lost in the blink of an eye, and tens of thousands of lives who had been touched by those lost souls were forever scarred. We were all changed that day. There is not a corner of the world that was not changed that day.

I remember P getting a text message on his phone - he got news feeds on it. We were still relatively new to our house, and did not have a tv downstairs. I ran upstairs to see the news, thinking it had to be a commuter plane. I turned it on as the 2nd tower was hit. I started screaming. Then I started doing a mental tally of where everyone was: stepmom at home. Father headed downtown to a large print show at one of the country's largest convention centers (cell phones overloaded, couldn't get ahold of him). Cousins at home. Aunt and Uncle in Turkey on vacation. Mother...oh shoot, where is she...oh yes, home from her Japan flight the night before. When they said some of the planes had to be United jets, I had to call her and wake her to tell her some of her coworkers were likely dead.

It was the day some more of our country's, and the world's, innocence died. It was the day where we all for the first time experienced truly quiet skies overhead. A deafening silence. It was the first time that we lived in fear, where we could empathize with what the people in Israel, Sudan, East Timor, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Iraq, live with every day of their lives. It was the first time that we were afraid to be on our street corners. It was an unknown and traumatizing experience, the realization of how our world had changed.

Innocents died that day. Innocents of Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Agnostic, Atheist and every other religion. It was a day that a few bad people who were guided to these misdeeds by a man who is charismatic and intelligent destroyed so much of the soul of this country. A man who could guide them to commit these atrocities by feeding on their fear, their misguided simplistic education of what Americans stand for (or the lack of understanding that we all stand for different things), and a misappropriation of religious beliefs.

Sadly, these events have turned the world an even darker place since then. Fear, suspicion, and mistrust rule. Sadly, today many innocents are still dying. Innocents who had no hand in what took place in 2001. Go after the people that support and assist the people who did this. Punishment can not be harsh enough for those people. Murder is never acceptable to further anyone's agenda. The innocents dying today though, wherever in the world they are, do not deserve to die anymore than the people in those planes and the towers and the Pentagon deserved to die 6 years ago.

Later tonight or tomorrow, I'll start my travel log of all the beautiful things in this world that inspire the soul.

Did Y'all Miss Me?

Oh man, has it been busy...have y'all missed me? I bet I've been gone so long, I'm down to 1 reader now! (And that's only 'cause Lisa knows to check back now!)

Anyways....hummmm....what to talk about?

Well, let's just get it out of the way...November 25? Really? Seriously, Foreign Government Agency That Holds the Future of My Family In It's Grasp? Seriously? What the fudge? And I had to find this out how? Via text message. Yeah, cause I was unable to get to a computer to check on things, cause I have to troll the rumor sites to find things out, and those weren't readily accessible, now were they? Cause you won't share. Whatever. So, I spent (depending on which family member you ask, 3-5USD per message) to find this crap out. BTW Maisey, not bitching about you, you taking the time to keep me in the loop rocked. You are awesome.

So, let's see...what have I been doing while in absentia? Well, I'm on my fourth load of laundry today, and working from the comforts of my home...

Oh, and P and I went out for some nice and tasty meals...

And we did some shopping...ok, a lot of shopping. Broke the bank kinda shopping. Which is always soul-calming some how. OK, not really break the bank, but more than I thought...oh well - can't take it with you!

Hummmmm....what else did we do? Brush our teeth, watch some movies, take walks, hang out with some new friends...

Oh yeah, one more thing...

We took a Kick-Ass Vacation...Can you guess where from these pics?

I missed y'all though....