I'll preface this with the fact that I'm crying right now...so my grammer may not be the best...
I found out that the contact person that I was dealing with at the Taiwan agency (that left) was lying to me for almost 3 months...every three weeks when I emailed her to find out how preapproval was going? And she answered that they were just waiting?! They weren't waiting on anything. Well, they were...they were waiting on a letter that she never asked me for. So, she was just fluffing and not doing her job.
So, three months later? Jack shit has been done. The letter is being faxed over now from my doc, as of this afternoon. I had at least told myself that from what I understood, Taiwan had been reviewing our file, and had asked about this, and once they got this letter, it would be quick. No. It won't be.
I told the other lady who was being cc'd on everything, what happened, and asked that they expedite their process because of what their staff did. She said she'd put a note on it. Somehow I don't think that's going to do anything.
I wanted a good agency this time. I wanted people who didn't treat you like a 6 year old. Ones that didn't hold back info. One that stepped up to the plate and did what had to be done to advocate for us, and when we have a referral, advocate for our child. I guess it's not possible to find in the adoption world. I guess every agency out there realizes how desperate we are and see us with "sucker" written all over our foreheads. They are all out there exploiting us, it just varies by what degree with what agency.
I really question if this is something I want to do again. But, seeing as I'm crying about it, I guess my heart is telling me that yes, we have to go thru it to get Amelia and bring her home to us. I just don't know how many times my heart can shatter in a million pieces and I can piece it back together again.
Thanks for letting me vent.
3 comments:
I just happened by and wanted to say that I'm sorry your start to this journey has been so rocky...and through no fault of your own!
Argh!
Hang in there and I do hope it works out for your family in the end!
Lisa C.
First, we breathe......
Next we recognize that the universe has it's own plan....
Third, we recognize that these folks are in "business" and no matter how much we would like them to be altruistic, no matter how much we want to believe that they care as deeply as we do, we (adoptive families) are nothing more than a line on a balance sheet...
Finally,(and what saved us from totally losing our shit multiple times) we learn to compartmentalize. We take these hopes and dreams and we put them in our little box, and we deal with them once a week or once a month. The rest of the time? We live each day as if it were our last, reveling in what we have rather than looking at what we don't.
I'm sorry that it looks as though this is going to be a tough haul for you as well. I'm here, I'm around, I have "scream time" available for those that need it...
Apparently each agency/program has its hoops. Unreal. I'm sorry, K. Please don't cry.
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