Sigh...do I really want to ride this coaster again?!?

OK, I think I told y'all we were thinking about it...months ago...well, months ago, we put in for preapproval for Taiwan, cause the agency we chose (sooooo not That Agency) does preapprovals on everybody now.

Well, we've waited. We've sat. We've sent off nice emails gently asking every three weeks or so. Always got a nice, "we're still waiting" answer. Till I sent one the first week of October. Nothing. 2nd week of October, 10 days later...nada. Sent a kinda pissy one a few days ago...where did you go kinda thing...got email from different woman than I've talked to. First woman? Left. Gone. Don't know the story. I just know this woman said they were investigating and following up all preapprovals. Doesn't sound good, huh?

Well, I get an email later in the day, which I totally appreciate the promptness..."we can't find your medical letter...did we request one? Did you provide one? If not, can you get one." They want an explanation of why I had a hysterectomy (I figured they would at some point.) at the tender age of 33 years...apparently, being sick of periods when you can't reproduce isn't good enough in their book. I get it. It's not common. And it was endo, so there are no fears in my mind about my ability to parent, or their view of my ability to parent.

But, I get that people who are leaving jobs don't give a rats ass, but this is people's lives! I know we signed up for 3-4 years total. That is ok. I thought A would come home when H is 4. That was perfect (yeah, I didn't learn my lesson the first time with "planning", I know). I want to know how long Taiwan was waiting for this info. I fear I'm going to be sitting here two years down the road when they close this program, and we were "close", and we think, if only we'd pitched a fit sooner.

I can't imagine getting on this rollercoaster again. I didn't sleep well last night. We're not ready for A right now, so it's not like I'm pissed off that it won't happen next year now or anything, but I can't help but fear this has pushed us so far down the line, with how long our state takes to approve HS now, post-Hague, that we're going to be screwed with Taiwan...the writing is on the wall for Taiwan, I was hoping we'd be in the queue though before it's too late. I can't queue up for China again, no matter how much I'd like to. The Taiwan program seems like a good program, and I like that A would be ethnically Chinese like H, H would have as much a biological connection to her as she could. I know, that's ironic, as I truly believe that family is only about 5% about biology in the end, but in a white family, I think that may be important to H (and A) someday. If it isn't, then it won't be a detriment, but if it is important, then A would have that connection with her to share. So I feel a very strong urgency to get this adoption started.

And of course, I can't get a letter till sometime next week, cause you know, my doc, as great as she is, isn't waiting for me to call.

Le sigh...