Christmas Lights?!

Seriously...really? Apparently there are hundreds of people in the Western-Suburbs-of-this-great-city-that-I-like-to-use-the-airport-but-rarely-visit that feel that because Target and Walmart have had their light displays up for 4 weeks, it's ok to decorate for Christmas. (I don't say the Department Stores - I'm sure they are decorated - but no one shops at them anymore.)

I'm an obnoxious Christmas elf. My husband will roll his eyes at me as I make him take the Christmas tree out on Friday. I will usually bake myself into a tizzy, and bring home more ornaments for the tree that already takes 2 weeks to decorate. I've thought of adding a room behind the dining room so I can put up another tree. I've already scoped out our new bar/kitchenette in the basement, trying to figure out how I can decorate it. So, don't call me a Grinch (another fav I can't wait to show H).

But, put quite simple folks: You cannot leapfrog holidays. Yes, that goes to you too, Walmart (evil creature that you are)...you cannot go from Labor Day to Christmas. It is an insult to the holidays inbetween. It'll also make me gouge out my ears, cause I like a good round of Feliz Navidad in all it's 60's hokiness...the first 1,237 times. After that, I take the nearest lit reindeer and bludgeon someone with it. You must give Halloween and Thanksgiving their due.

I don't care if a store or any commercial entity puts "Happy Holidays" vs "Merry Christmas" in their sales fliers. And if some Christian gets offended by the first? Lighten up. And if some Muslim get offended by the 2nd? Lighten up. They could all tell you to just "Come, your family won't love you unless you go over the top with gifts". But claimjump Thanksgiving? I will with reckless abandon boycott you!!!

Do you have Christmas parties before Thanksgiving? NO. Then don't put that damn wreath and those icicle lights up on your f***ing house for another 3 days! Hell, the blow-up Turkey (the only blow up I have, but I love the kitchy of it, with his tail bobbing in the wind...for 3 days! Only 3 days folks!) doesn't go out in our front-yard till tomorrow! If it had been 60 here, I would have given it to y'all who were out there yesterday. But it wasn't. It's supposed to be the same, or warmer over the 4 day weekend.

Stop. Back away from the spiral light Christmas Trees and the Snowflake Projector...or The Gingerbread Man gets it.