Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Apparently, My Kid Would've Committed Fraud

So H and I decide to do what any sane (har) people would do on the warmest morning of the last 15 days...we decide to drive 30 minutes (and then 12 minutes more trying to follow the crappy directions to the building) to get mama's child abuse fingerprinting, so I can prove I haven't done any heebie things in my past. Cause the other 3 sets of prints I've done for this new adoption won't prove by themselves that I'm an upstanding citizen. What a fun morning!

It was at this totally weird bus station company. I get there and there are 2 child care worker people waiting. H is clingy, cause it's a new place, and well, it's creepy. And they have a sign on the wall tracking injuries, accidents etc for the company...a whopping 3 days since an accident! Woohooo. Maybe I'll drive my kid when she gets to school age. Anyways, I digress.

So, we get to our turn in about 10 minutes. H wants nothing to do with seperation from my hip, of course. So I clean my hands, then pull a chair over and set her on it, hoping she'll sit. She won't. So I stand her on it and wrap my arm around her chest, holding her to mine, thinking I'll switch sides when I have to switch hands for printing...

The fingerprint lady flips out. Says it's not safe. I said, I have her in my arm. She says no...cause I can't touch H while they fingerprint me, from beginning to end. If I do, they will void my prints.

Yeah, cause my 20 month old will commit identity fraud. She's going to slip her little fingers in under mine and give me a free and clear print. How stupid do people get when they follow The Rules?!

So, she stood there for 3-5 minutes screaming her head off, tears rolling, cause the lady made me stand a foot away from her. Wouldn't even let her wrap herself around my leg. Nice, huh?

I'll send them the bills for her therapy when she gets older.

1 comment:

Judi said...

Apparently, she's not a mom. Sorry you both had to deal with this pain in the rear.