- Daycare of course is eating at my brain. No two ways around that. If I don't, or I don't pull the plug on work (yeah, my Dad is being waayyyy too accomodating, he really doesn't want that), I think I'm going to fry myself trying to be super-woman, cause that for sure is not a title I can take on.
- I worked my tushy off in the house this weekend, but I'm still staring at so much to do.
- H was really out of sorts today. Lots of clear boogies, I think it's a spring cold. I'm a walking kleenex.
- H's diaper rash. I'm frustrated. It's not really there (barely raised areas, skin colored, not bothering her), but stop the most expensive butt goo in the world? Bam. Could it really be the type of diaper or some such thing? Aren't they all the same toxic mix of who knows what? This is going to be something that we're going to have to tinker with for a long long time, huh?
- H's pediatrician. Well, I should say her office. Sorry, but most office staff in docs' offices sucks. Period. I called Friday to discuss my child's butt. Have I heard back?! And it's going to be pulling teeth tomorrow, cause she technically only has a nurse appt to get 2 vaccinations.
- My yard looks like a pit. OK, it doesn't, but to me, it does. I wish I had some time to get out there. I love gardening, but going out there with a monitor on my hip, holding my breathe waiting for her to wake up isn't cutting it.
- Most adoption agencies suck. Period. What part of call me about a program do these people not understand?
- It seems like everyone else has this balancing act and motherhood thing down waaaay better than I do.
The biggest frustration?! Feeling like nothing is ever good enough. I clean house like a fiend this weekend, but it's not done. H wants more time with us, even though she's soooo not neglected. I can't get her to sleep enough, eat enough dairy, get her to not be constipated, get rid of all her various minor ailments...never enough time to give to husband, cats, friends, etc...never being able to take an hour to myself with the guilt. The work/family bond thing too - my Dad's not an emotional guy, he doesn't show a lot...how have I spent most of my "close" time with my Dad as an adult? In the office. If I quit, do I lose my relationship with my Dad? Does he not understand that I need to not work so I can wash various cloth items for my child all day, every day?
On the attempted humorous side note...I have come up with some of the most unexpected changes in our lives (I've been looking at budgets etc) with H: laundry and dishes. Do you know how many more loads I do each week, even though her clothes can all fit in 3 washerloads (we're talking everything past, present and future in her closet!)?!?! I don't know where it all comes from! And dishes?! The kid eats out of single serve containers, and one bowl per meal. But now that I'm home constantly, the once a week diswasher running is soooo not cutting it! I thank god that I don't have to go in the wetlands out back and get out the old wash board to do laundry.
And those single serve containers? Those are a God-send. Seriously, I love them. They also make my kid an ecological disaster (and I mocked the 80gallon recycling bin when they handed them out in our neighborhood a few months before she came home....har. Of course the little bins were good enough, back in our child-less days), but I love them. She is a walking ecological disaster cause of the diapers anyways, might as well make it a slam dunk.
Will I ever feel like I've got this all under control?
4 comments:
And you're putting all this pressure on yourself because...? First comes baby because she can't do it for herself; then comes you, then comes P. Everything else comes after and can wait.
Clear mucous. Hmm. If it's spring there, could it be allergies/hay fever?
Yeah, maybe try a different brand diaper. Isn't there a biodegradable brand?
Can you take one of her naps with her - and take the kitties in, too? Gives you a rest, she'll sleep easier with you near, and there's quality quiet time with the kitties. Trying to figure out here how to kill a few birds with one stone.
Can you work from home? Is that possible?
Alrighty then, I'll slap my two-cents in here, and revert to my nanny days...
The diaper rash thing, might be from the diapers themselves. Butt paste shields the skin from the diaper itself along with moisture. Stop using the butt paste, the skin comes into contact with the diaper again, and viola! Rash re-occurs! In addition, human waste is acidic so as soon as it touches that diaper, the diaper itself begins to break down, albeit slowly, and I have no idea what chemicals are emitted as it does. As frightening as it sounds, you may want to try cloth diapers for a few days and see if there's a difference. (I know...EEEwww!) Constipation? Licorice tea. Brew it light, add some sugar, and watch it work. BTW, dairy can cause constipation... you might want to look for some other ways to get calcium. (dairy also contributes to mucous manufacturing...) And this concludes our alternative medicine lesson for today.....
Have you considered hiring a nanny for a couple of days a week? The cost may not be much more than daycare and the bonus is that most nannies have no problem doing light housework for the kid. That generally means H's laundry and keeping the play area and H's room orderly. I was kind of a freak show nanny, I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom as well, but, as you know....that's just me....LOL!
This concludes today's assvice....
I've been working from home, but I'm getting the pressure to go back...it's hard when I've got an hour here, an hour there!
Of course, now I've got another worry I'll blog about, once I wrap my head around it. nyt - I'll post the whole diaper thing...
Yeah, I'm putting the pressure on myself, cause, well, I make Type A people look like Pauly Shore Surfer dudes. I admit it. I'm neurotic...and y'all love me for it, don't ya?
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