A Month Ago...

A month ago, we bundled up and angry, tired and confused child, and trundled back to the government office where she had been given to us a day before. A whole month ago!!! Her hair has grown and started to thicken, a tooth has come in, she's learned to reach for us, she learned to wave goodbye today...she's travelled 1/2 way around the world (like a champ), and had her world turned upside down and rebuilt (even though she doesn't realize it is how it will be forever now). She's gained so many skills and life lessons, but she still has so far to go to feel "at home." She seems at home, but I know in 3 months, I'll look back at this stage and laugh that I ever thought that sentiment.

I can't believe it's been a month.

We've slept more (and less some nights) than we ever have, but never been more tired. I have a learned routine to go down every night to her room and listen to her sleeping for 15 seconds(why, I don't know, it makes me feel better). I've learned to eat, wipe, pay bills, and clean just about anything in the house, with one hand, balancing a 21lb baby on the other side. I'm still slow on the draw with the diaper when it's a messy one, or she refuses to not squirm 1/2way across the floor during the process. My back is killing me! I still get internally so frustrated when she just wants to scream - I don't know what all the different nuances of scream mean yet, but I'm learning. I've put on makeup I think a total of 5 or 6 days in the last month, and probably 4 of those days, it was probably just base and mascara. Yet, somehow my skin doesn't look beautiful. I eat less, but somehow haven't lost any weight either. I have a little worrying mommy voice in the back of my head all the time now.

Life is totally different, but still somehow the same. I don't know how to explain it...we've added such a big change to our lives, but life is still life, with a HUGE twist. But I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. (Though maybe for a competent lab that wouldn't keep screwing up my daughter's blood work! That's how much they've messed up, but that's another story for another bitchy post.)

But to anyone out there who thinks myself, or any of my adoption buddies took the "easy way out"...Ha! Come do this month. You'll crumble...I promise. If not, then you would realize that we are not 2nd class parents at all. We've earned our spit-covered cashmere sweaters just like you.

Happy 1 month Peanut. It's been the most amazing month of my life.