We got a call from the ILs today. SIL has set a date. No, she didn't call - her parents did.
It's Memorial Day weekend. Yes, we have to travel to a warm, well-vacationed state over a 3 day "first days of summer" holiday. Yes, we have to spend over 750USD to go watch a woman we talk with twice a year get married. Mind you, 97% of P's family will have to travel to this wedding. 97% of the family will have to pay Memorial Day Prices. Nice.
Oh, and it gets better. I had to out and out say, to MIL, "Is H in the wedding or not? As in, what days do you need us there, because we have to buy tickets like...now. SIL said she thought she'd have her as a flower girl." Oh, yes, she says...of course. And then... "You are all in the wedding."
Mind you, P has never heard from SIL or BIL-To-Be on this. She has never said boo to him about standing up in the wedding. So, I guess it's assumed that: 1. He can do it. 2. He can afford to do it. 3. He knows he'll be in it. 4. He'll know what tux to get?!
And me? I panicked for a second. But, I'm not really in the wedding, I'm the flower girl escort. That means that SIL doesn't want me in the wedding (she must still blame me for her not being in ours 12 years ago, even though it was her brother's decision), but she's too sissy to admit it. I don't care, I don't want to be in it. Of course, I get the worst of both worlds - I have to buy a dress to coordinate with H, who will be in a "complimentary color to the bridesmaids" - so what, I'm complimentary to complimentary? She'll be 2 years, 3 months, can't I just put P at the alter, me at the back and tell her to go to Dada? The only benefit I can think of, I'll probably be excluded from most pictures.
So, for someone who didn't give me a wedding gift 12 years ago, didn't come to my shower 12 years ago, did not acknowledge my baby shower a year ago, nor ever send an email or anything when we came home with H...I'm supposed to spend over a thousand dollars for her wedding? Plane tickets for 3. A rental car, cause we can't assume we can ride with the ILs the whole time, a gift, a dress for H, a dress for me, a tux for P, at the very least. Time off from work.
Oh, and I was told if SIL decides to enforce the no-kids rule (they said they want the Flower Girl and Ringbearer there), then MIL said she'd get a friend of hers to watch H...ummm...NO. No. No. I will not leave my daughter with a stranger in a strange home (she's spent 3 days of her life there) with a lot of activity going on. I don't care if she's a Drs wife...not going to happen. H would freak. I'm also not paying for H to go all the way there to spend money on a dress for a photo op and then force her back to the house to hang with a stranger. Nope. Then Dada goes by himself.
Oh, and funny side note: the day after the wedding? That's MIL's bday. Soooo, if we leave on Sunday, we've got a 87% chance of becoming the a**holes of the family again. But if we stay till Monday, not only do we have no time to get H settled back in before P starts another long week of working on the other side of the city with matching commute, but it costs us a buttload more money for the plane tickets.
We're so screwed, aren't we?
1 comment:
Okay, unfortunaltely in the name of family harmony, you get to embrace the suck...
A suggestion to the bride to be...back in the day when I was running bars, our larger room had an ante-room off to the side. The smartest bride I ever met set up the ante room for the kids instead of for the bridal party. She hired a baby-sitter and brought in movies and toys. That way, moms and dads could go in and out and the kids were out of the way..
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