Do you really want to know my logic string?

OK, I guess I'm remiss is realizing that those out there in Blog-World may not know me enough to know how I make crazy decisions sometimes...

This is how we ended up in China the last few weeks...

We've been playing this hold vacation/complain about not going to get H/use a bit of vacation/get nervous about using said vacation/hold rest of vacation/realize we're not getting H this year/blow all the vacation except the one paltry week P can carry over/panic about what if a miracle occurs...

We're almost at that last step...except P has more time right now - he'll probably end up wasting it away by not really working in December, like he had to last year, and cleaning off his honey-do list.

So we decided we were sick of being stateside (I lasted longer than I usually do - I usually get antsy many months quicker than this!) and started trying to find somewhere. I was charged with finding somewhere "exotic" if I was going to spend the money by hubby. I came up with Japan. Do you know how much it costs to not only get to Japan but then stay there? It breaks my rule of places that cost more to get to are cheaper to stay in...

So I jokingly thru out China, and got the evil eye back..."you'll be there soon enough, keep your undies unbundled" I heard. So we dropped it. So I cruised the internet. Landed on some China trips. Figured out there's a whole heck of a lot I still want to see (had a trip planned before I had to cancel it in '05 cause of my first endo surgery)...and those Gorges are filling up fast. So I started working the hubby over - let's see the things we've always wanted to see - we won't be able to do it on the next trip. And it worked.

Se we booked the trip a month before we left - tops. We had to go down to the nearest big city to hand deliver our passports to the embassy for our visas to get them back in time. (That was a little sad) And then we packed our bags and off we went. Did everything we were going to do in '05 except for Tibet. That would have been 2 more plane flights, and 4 more days, and we didn't want to risk that much time...seeing as we're still foolish and hopeful.

So, we left the Midwest and landed 14ish (I think) hours later in Beijing. Then we went to Xi'an, then Chongqing, picked up the riverboat, floated down to Yichang (the only place I wasn't thrilled with - I'll have to tell you about the Sturgeon IVF they are doing over there...something I could have lived without seeing the video of in my life) and then flew again to Shanghai.

So that's the story. We're here, getting over jet lag and trying to get into the work routine. I overslept today, so off I go to the Happy Workland. I'll try to post more pics later today...

So, when do y'all think I'm going back?

Pork Buns, Dumplings and Other Beautiful Details

Ok, here we go with my first attempt at a published vacation log.

I'll try to skip the stereotypical shots of The Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, and The Great Wall, like you can see anywhere...there's way more better photos of all that then I can produce!

OK, first off, I respect any culture that sees and appreciates the beauty in all the details. I mean really, if you don't cherish the little stuff, the details that make the difference, then there's a lot of life that is just glossed over...There is no such thing as too small a detail to the Chinese people.

First, check out these dumplings:

Yes, those are froggies on the left and a wonderfully posed pic of what we ate on the right...The green one was a leaf shape, there's a little baggy looking one, a walnut shaped one, and a duck one. Not only were these amazing. Wonderful, borderline-chocolate level goodness. Man, I can't get dumplings to even be uniformally round! There's love in there, man.

And, another unlikely place to find beauty:

This was under our feet in The Forbidden City. You can't see it really clear now that I downsized the pic for viewing ease, but it's a scene of leaves and flowers and branches made out of stones set in the pavement. There was also one of a bicycle, but you can't make it out at all when the pic is downsized. I know this was for the Emperor and all, but there's still someone's soul in this art. And I saw pavings like this all over China.

(Yes, it was China. And no, H is not here with us.)

And, back to food, cause I'm all about the food, especially when it comes to piggy. The pork buns. The steamed, bbq-porky pigish ooeey gooey yummy insides wrapped up in a spongy squishy carb-gasmic outside. I could live on these things. Seriously. There's a bit of onion or one of the lesser veggies in there. All major food groups are therefore covered. I don't have a picture though, cause, well, every last one went into my belly before I could get a pic. But I'll swear on whatever book you want me to that each and every one was beautiful.

Just a note on the rice "wine" (a bit off topic here)...yeah, ok, love ya China. Love ya a lot. But, seriously folks, anything that is between 90-108 proof is not "wine." It's moonshine mixed with some rocket fuel. Yeah, I drank it. Had 2.5 shots of it after I found out about the 11/25 cutoff (see the bottle in the dumpling shot? Yeah, they make it pretty so you aren't aware of the danger lurking within!), but "wine?" Har. That stuff burns folks. Burns good.

Next post, I'll tell you my favorite story about hanging out with some locals. Wish I had spent more time, but I was afraid of being left behind. For now, I'll leave you with the knowledge that not only did I eat the most wonderful food for 11 days to my hearts content, but I also managed to lose 3.50lbs somehow while doing it!

6 Years Ago Today...

6 Years Ago Today, the world changed. Thousands of innocent lives were lost in the blink of an eye, and tens of thousands of lives who had been touched by those lost souls were forever scarred. We were all changed that day. There is not a corner of the world that was not changed that day.

I remember P getting a text message on his phone - he got news feeds on it. We were still relatively new to our house, and did not have a tv downstairs. I ran upstairs to see the news, thinking it had to be a commuter plane. I turned it on as the 2nd tower was hit. I started screaming. Then I started doing a mental tally of where everyone was: stepmom at home. Father headed downtown to a large print show at one of the country's largest convention centers (cell phones overloaded, couldn't get ahold of him). Cousins at home. Aunt and Uncle in Turkey on vacation. Mother...oh shoot, where is she...oh yes, home from her Japan flight the night before. When they said some of the planes had to be United jets, I had to call her and wake her to tell her some of her coworkers were likely dead.

It was the day some more of our country's, and the world's, innocence died. It was the day where we all for the first time experienced truly quiet skies overhead. A deafening silence. It was the first time that we lived in fear, where we could empathize with what the people in Israel, Sudan, East Timor, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Iraq, live with every day of their lives. It was the first time that we were afraid to be on our street corners. It was an unknown and traumatizing experience, the realization of how our world had changed.

Innocents died that day. Innocents of Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Agnostic, Atheist and every other religion. It was a day that a few bad people who were guided to these misdeeds by a man who is charismatic and intelligent destroyed so much of the soul of this country. A man who could guide them to commit these atrocities by feeding on their fear, their misguided simplistic education of what Americans stand for (or the lack of understanding that we all stand for different things), and a misappropriation of religious beliefs.

Sadly, these events have turned the world an even darker place since then. Fear, suspicion, and mistrust rule. Sadly, today many innocents are still dying. Innocents who had no hand in what took place in 2001. Go after the people that support and assist the people who did this. Punishment can not be harsh enough for those people. Murder is never acceptable to further anyone's agenda. The innocents dying today though, wherever in the world they are, do not deserve to die anymore than the people in those planes and the towers and the Pentagon deserved to die 6 years ago.

Later tonight or tomorrow, I'll start my travel log of all the beautiful things in this world that inspire the soul.

Did Y'all Miss Me?

Oh man, has it been busy...have y'all missed me? I bet I've been gone so long, I'm down to 1 reader now! (And that's only 'cause Lisa knows to check back now!)

Anyways....hummmm....what to talk about?

Well, let's just get it out of the way...November 25? Really? Seriously, Foreign Government Agency That Holds the Future of My Family In It's Grasp? Seriously? What the fudge? And I had to find this out how? Via text message. Yeah, cause I was unable to get to a computer to check on things, cause I have to troll the rumor sites to find things out, and those weren't readily accessible, now were they? Cause you won't share. Whatever. So, I spent (depending on which family member you ask, 3-5USD per message) to find this crap out. BTW Maisey, not bitching about you, you taking the time to keep me in the loop rocked. You are awesome.

So, let's see...what have I been doing while in absentia? Well, I'm on my fourth load of laundry today, and working from the comforts of my home...

Oh, and P and I went out for some nice and tasty meals...

And we did some shopping...ok, a lot of shopping. Broke the bank kinda shopping. Which is always soul-calming some how. OK, not really break the bank, but more than I thought...oh well - can't take it with you!

Hummmmm....what else did we do? Brush our teeth, watch some movies, take walks, hang out with some new friends...

Oh yeah, one more thing...

We took a Kick-Ass Vacation...Can you guess where from these pics?

I missed y'all though....

The 70's Are Speaking to Me...

Quote:
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go...


We're playing a bit early this week folks...if anyone is interested.

You'll know why when you name the song...

See ya soon...then I'll get on that boy vs girl rant I've got bubbling up inside of me.

Oh, and last week - Tommy TwoTone - 867-5309 of course!

The Different Family

Here's the question: Did any of us really think that we were really going to be looked at as different because our babes come from a far away land (or a nearby land), instead of down the mommy chute (well, my mommy chute, at least)? I clarify this question with the idea that I am not talking about race...yes, we'll be obvious once H is home. I'm speaking more fundamentally of course...H isn't here, and we still already different, not the same, don't count as much in many circles.

Girls Night was Friday night. Once a month, a group of 5-8 of us in the neighborhood get together, have a few martinins or glasses of wine, bullshit, and play stupid card games...oh, and eat our asses off. Something to absorb the alcohol, you know... :)

I think I've spoken of the 2 M's. M1 has two kids, and if you aren't a mommy, you don't count. M2 had ivf after complaining for years about not being able to have kids, but not doing anything about it. She didn't want to adopt because 1. She doesn't want to go on a plane for a day. 2. I secretly think that her hubby didn't want someone else's kid. Which is fine. Don't do it if you can't handle it. I don't understand it, but I am sooooo glad you accepted your limitations as a family.

Weeeeeellllll...M2 after all the years of not wanting to deal with it, had ivf and it was successful. She has twins. So she got that wish too. Turns out, a boy and a girl...her husband "had" to have a boy. So many discussions on gender there - but that can be for later...when I haven't posted in a few days, remind me of this, and you'll get me on my soapbox in no time.

The whole night M1 was all like "OK, you have to get this diaper bag, and this nipple, and this kind of diaper, and this kind of creme." Mind you M2 is totally overwhelmed, and has no idea what to do.

Do you think once M1 said anything to me to? No. N, another neighbor at some point leaned over to me, and said "I'm guessing October may be your month?" That was it all night. And there were some eyerolls at M1's over the top interest, especially as she has not had too much interest in M2 until the pregnancy. Mind you also, M2 didn't count until she became a mommy-trainee in M1's eyes. No kid means you aren't a real family.

But it dawned on me: There are now "real babies" coming. My friends love me, they are happy for me, but they are weary with the wait too, I'm sure. I vascilate between bringing H up, cause it keeps her spirit alive, and not mentioning her, just cause it is easier in my heart and spirit in some ways. But H is no...well, I can't "letter" them yet, as they can't agree on names...I guess "B&G" for boy and girl. She just can't compare somehow.

Now there is a pregnancy in the 'hood. There is excitement and anticipation. They can see her belly grow and listen to tales of sleepless nights. I have sleepless nights too, sometimes a lot of them, but I think it's assumed that those are less painful. Moreso, I just don't think they think I have nights like that too. It seems that many peole think this is like waiting for our new sofa to be delivered - it'll be awesome when it comes. There's no squished kidney or feet jabbing into my small intestine. But there is a hole in my heart, and sometimes I want to curl in a fetal position because of the pain, ironically enough. I think it's just that we will always be different now. Regardless of if H is Chinese, Vietnamese, Russian or Midwestern. We just aren't a "normal" family, and will never be, as I think most people really just look at us and think we are admirable for taking someone else's kid. Since the announcement of B&G, H has been forgotten. H is already "the adopted kid."

Maybe there will be excitement when she shows up. But it'll probably be around the birth of B&G, so I don't think most people will notice. Not when there are itty bitty brand new homegrown newborn toes and newborn smell to be visited.

Will H vomit on me when she is sick? Will she someday cry for me when I leave her with Grandpa to go out for our anniversary? Will I get a call when she mouths off to the teacher? Will I be the one that makes a goofy, lopsided cake for her birthday? Then how is she any different than B&G?

I just want H to count. I don't want her to be "the adopted kid." I don't want her to be overshadowed by the miracle of ivf twins. She's going to be a miracle also, after 22-24 months of waiting...I don't want her to be the charity case. She's just my daughter. And I don't want people to be less excited about her.

Buh-Bye, Alberto

Adios. Ta-ta, Auf Weidersehen. Zaijian. Later.

Definetly hoping that you are leaving to go be put up in one of those nice long-term care facilities - Lord knows you shouldn't be out driving yourself around to the Safeway or anything, what with that horrible memory loss of yours...you'd likely end up either 2 states away, lost, or driving thru the window of the local pancake joint.

What can we pay you to take Dick with you?